Three things to write about

1. Monday I went and had another 2 hrs 15 mins tattooing done on my backpiece. It's really coming along now. We're probably just over halfway through. It's looking awesome, guys -- or "sick", as Gallows frontman Frank said when he saw it as Xam was working on me, because Frank was tattooing at the shop that day, too.

Some of you have seen how it's looking so far. If you haven't, I'll mail pics to any regulars who are interested, so just leave me a comment to say you wanna.

2. The British government has won the first round in its attempt to increase the detention time for terrorism suspects, taking the time allowed to keep prisoners without charge up to a mammoth 42 days, or six weeks, while they gather the requisite evidence to take them to court. Um, excuse me, but what the fuck?!

This is such bullshit. How many people have we seen arrested and held for the current 28 days only to be released without charge? Quite a few is how many. Holding someone for six weeks, potentially someone who doesn't even know why they are held, since there is no obligation for the police to tell them, is completely fucking bogus. And Gordon Brown (who spookily has the same initials as that other fuckwit) could not even have won this without pulling in reinforcements. The man's a complete arsehole and should be got rid of asap.

3. It's 12 June, and it's thundering. Thundering?! Holy shit. Welcome to summer.

Post #797, wherein I take a moment to remind people

GORDON BROWN IS A CUNT. Just in case anyone had forgotten.

Sharia law in UK. And football outside of the UK

There's been some talk about Sharia law coming to the UK. It's "inevitable" says the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Um, no, it's not inevitable, you dumb fuck. It's totally fucking evitable. Jesus Christ on a bike, what is wrong with this country? We already have our laws, and they are perfectly abide-by-able for most of us, so why can't the Muslims be expected to live by them too? What's next, special dispensation for Jews? Atheists? Mormons?

"Love it or fucking leave it" -- that's the US motto [expletive my own] that I saw plastered all over New York when I went there in February 2002, just five months after 9/11. Sure, it might have been partly jingoistic xenophobia, but the sentiment is absolutely right. Live by our laws, or get the fuck out.

-----------

And another thing...

How is it that the British government -- the same British government that has in recent months advised its citizens to holiday in the UK more to avoid adding to the pollution caused by so much air travel -- how is that they can even allow the British Football (soccer) Association to consider having Premiership matches played in other parts of the world, including New York, Los Angeles, and parts of Southeast Asia, among others. Okay, so it's not yet a done deal, but what the fuck?!

Again, it seems it's one rule for the plebs and another for the big guns. Cunts. They're all a bunch of cunts. Aaaaagghhhhhhh!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

Gordon Brown, our new prime minister, is a fucking cunt. Do I need to elaborate? Well, I won't anyway. He's a cunt, plain and simple.

In my own peculiar way I feel mercurial

Today's the first of July. It's been a funny old week... We in the UK have got a new prime minister in the guise of Gordon Brown, and what a wet old fart he is going to be. First order of business seems to have been to get a new hairstyle -- one that makes him look about ten years older already.

Also, finally we have a smoking ban in public places. Finally. It's been a long time coming, and I, for one, embrace it. As a man who does a little bit of travelling, I've seen how clean the air in restaurants and bars is on some foreign soils, and I like it. When some of our Italian friends visited late last summer, they were open-mouthed at the fact people were smoking in eateries. And they come from Italy, a country where smoking has long been normal among da kidz. But they embraced the ban over there with more relish than I might have imagined.

It's been a funny old week, yes. We've also had three supposed attempted car bombings in Britain: two in London; one in Glasgow. I wonder, though, if car bombings are going to be a tool in the terrorists' arsenal over here whether they might need to import willing perpetrators from the Middle East. We in the UK, I think, love being alive a bit too much. We have good lives in the West, you see. Even the Muslim extremists among us must wonder, What point is there in killing myself? I can do so much more damage by staying alive, by living to fight another day, as they say.

I had an exhausting, physically tiring, emotionally draining weekend with my family last weekend, and on my return there was stuff that needed doing. I spent a total of eight or nine hours, over the course of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, removing horrible old plasticky tiling from our kitchen floor prior to our new floor covering being fitted. Those hours were physically demanding. Most of the time I was stood up and bent right over, using a mini-sledgehammer and chisel to remove the tiles. The hammer was heavy; the tiles, stuck fast. I was removing around five or six per hour. My thighs still ache to bend over or sit on the loo or climb the stairs.

Funny old week? Yes. On Friday night, Red and I were awoken by our neighbours' alarm clock at about 4 in the morning. It kept on going: beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Clearly no one was going to turn it off. At 4:30am, I decided I had no choice but to knock on their door. The husband answered, apologized, and switched it off. Later in the day, the wife caught us and also apologized profusely before mentioning that they would be having a party tonight, so sorry in advance for the noise.

As it happens, the noise wasn't too bad. Most of it was in the backyard, drunken 30- and 40-somethings karaoke'ing to their hearts' content. But at about 2:45am we were awoken again -- this time to the sound of the neighbours moving their bedroom furniture around. Voices started to get raised, and then the wife shouted something about "don't just dump my clothes in the corner" and stormed out. Finally, we could get our heads down. For about ten minutes, until the alarm went off again, at about 3am. Fuck's sake! It rang for about four minutes, I guess, before someone ran back up from downstairs to turn it off. I feel sleep-deprived today. I feel a little "wrong".

Funny old week? Yeah, and it turns out that -- ALERT: DOCTOR WHO SPOILER -- Captain Jack is the Face of Boe (above). Fucking hell, who saw that coming?! Fantastic! Captain Jack is kind of immortal, y'see. "Will I never die?" he asked the Doctor (I'm paraphrasing). "If not, what will I look like when I get to a million years old?" Then the reveal, and we already know what he will look like at five billion years old. We've seen him die in the future, y'see. And the Doctor was there with him.

Yeah, it's been a funny old week here in the United Kingdom. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Ha! "United". Ha! "Great". I'm hoping I can at least book a table for Sunday lunch and experience a smoke-free dining experience on Day One of the ban.

And -- unusualness of all unusualnesses -- our pet cat Cat has finally done a new post: you can read his "five things" tag over here. He promises to write more often, too, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Tony Blair: end of an era (after Wikipedia)

Anthony Charles Lynton Blair (born 6 May) is a proper fucking cunt who served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from early May 1997 to late June 2007, the Leader of the Labour Party from 1994 to 2007 and the Member of Parliament for the constituency of Sedgefield from 1983 to 2007. On the day he stood down as Prime Minister -- can you believe the balls of this fucker?! -- he was appointed as the Middle East envoy on behalf of the United Nations, European Union, United States and Russia (the Quartet).

Tony Blair became the Leader of the Labour Party in July 1994, following the sudden death of his predecessor, John Smith. Under Blair's leadership the party abandoned many decades-old traditional Labour values, essentially becoming the Conservative Party Version 2.0. As a result of this political about-face, Labour won a landslide victory in the 1997 general election, ending 18 years of rule by the Conservative Party; it was the worst Conservative defeat since 1832. But of course it was also a Conservative victory, albeit under another name. Blair is the Labour Party's longest-serving Prime Minister, and we are the unlucky fuckers who had to witness it. He has been nothing but a lying, deceitful, Bush-arse-fucking, don't-give-a-fuck-about-the-promises-he-made, waste-of-space political leader since the last one, which probably wasn't that long ago.

Gordon Brown, Blair's ten-year Chancellor of the Exchequer, succeeded him as Prime Minister. And, oh, how we can all look forward to being fucked by this cunt, too.

I've got nothing more to say, I suppose. Just good riddance to bad rubbish. Let's hope the cunt dies on a Middle East visit. (Is that a bit excessive? Maybe. Oh well.) Prick. Liar. Arsehole. Now there's an epitaph we should all aspire to.

Oh yeah, by the way, I'm 41 per cent zombie-proof.

41%

Tagged by Gardenia

I wanted to write a wee rant about that cunt Tony Blair and how great it is that he has finally fucked off, albeit leaving our country in even worse hands in the shape of that other cunt Gordon Brown, who can't talk without doing some weird freaky thing with his bottom lip. Wanker.

But then Gardenia tagged me, so I guess I'll put that post off to another day.

1. WHAT WERE YOU DOING 10 YEARS AGO?
Getting ready to get married, more or less. Our tenth anniversary is only five weeks away.

2. WHAT WERE YOU DOING 1 YEAR AGO?
Christ, who knows. Working I expect!

3. FIVE SNACKS YOU ENJOY.
Cashew nuts, white chocolate, beer, pitta and hummus, sex.

4. FIVE SONGS YOU KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO.
The Saturday Boy (Billy Bragg), Stand and Deliver (Adam & the Ants), That Makes It Tough (Buddy Holly), Holidays in the Sun (Sex Pistols), Suspicious Minds (Elvis Presley)

5. FIVE THINGS YOU'D DO IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE.
Give up work. Direct a movie. Put together a band and make an album. Travel a lot. Start an animal sanctuary.

6. FIVE BAD HABITS.
Do I have any? Snoring, apparently. Watching too much shit TV. Working too hard.

7. FIVE THINGS YOU LIKE DOING.
Spending quality time with the wife, especially eating out, watching a good movie, holidaying, takonad'ing. I also like blogging and watching good TV.

8. FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER WEAR AGAIN.
I dunno. I figure anything I wear is cool by virtue of my wearing it. Oh, except dungarees perhaps. Yeah, I'll never wear those again. Good job I gave them to charity!

I tag anyone who wants to have a go, but first to mind are Cappy, Milla, and RefPo.

Bush fires

I can think of one Bush I'd like to set fire to. Is it gratuitous just to say how much I hate Bush for no apparent reason today? I think we have to remind ourselves, even on days when he hasn't done anything newsworthily stupid, what a cunt he is.

And not just him, of course. Blair, too. On his final "world tour" as prime minister. What a fucking arsewipe. Cunts, the lot of 'em.

Seville and elections and Asda, oh my!

Just when we thought Seville couldn't get any better, they go and build this solar power station. Excellent! If you follow the link, there's a little film in the sidebar of that page where you can see how truly cool this is.

Meanwhile, it is polling day in my small town today. While the Spanish are removing troops from Iraq, permitting gay marriage, and building massive solar power generators, we are focusing here on whether or not the public toilets should remain open. This is a "town" with barely any shops worth coming for. Who the fuck do they think needs the public toilets? Certainly they didn't need the public library that used to be here.

And that cunt who currently runs our country has decided not to launch a full independent enquiry into the 7/7 London bombings because it will undermine faith in the security services. Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the fact that we have no faith in the UK's security services the reason we want an enquiry? Arsehole.

And on the subject of arseholes, Bush of course vetoed the plans for withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. I will hold up my hands here and say that I sort of know where he's coming from as regards not wanting to inform "the enemy" of his troops' withdrawal dates. The problem is, though, that I truly don't see Bush ever pulling out of Iraq. He is in this to win it; and if he can't win it, he'll just stay there pretending he's winning it. Prick.

And on the subject of Bush, I shopped at Asda today. The traffic going towards Sainsbury's was just not worth joining, so we headed the other way for our groceries. Asda has started stocking a whole lot of better stuff than they used to. A couple of years back when I was looking for free-range chicken, I was told that they "had some once, by mistake. Someone had ordered the wrong thing." (That is absolutely true!) Now, though, they actually do stock it! Of course, it's all money in Bush's pocket via his Wal-Mart connection.

Man, it's impossible to know what to do for the best sometimes. I'm pretty sure Sainsbury's gives money to Blair's lot anyway. Maybe I need to find a Spanish supermarket... Anyone know of one in the southeast of England?

Serving our country?

You must have had your head under a rock for the past two weeks if you aren't aware of the "international situation" in which the UK found itself with regards to its sailors apparently venturing into Iranian waters.

But you know what? This whole story has really got on my tits.

I have held off from posting about it before because I really don't know where to begin. And even now I'm not sure where I'm going entirely. I'm not one of those bloggers who plans out his posts and then redrafts it a dozen times before posting. Almost 100 per cent of the time I type and post, making a few minor amendments here and there as I go. I like to feel "in the moment". Plus, I don't really have the time to dwell on one post for a week or more.

So, yada yada yada, it's go time!

We saw footage and photos of our brave men and chain-smoking woman. Sometimes they were together; sometimes videotaped separately. Sometimes they were eating; sometimes they were telling the camera, and the world, how sorry they were to have crossed into Iran's waters.

By and large they seemed to be in good health, and they even told us they were being treated well. Within minutes of their release, they were telling news cameras that they were treated well by the Iranians. At their meeting with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the sailors thanked him for looking after them during their "stay".

But now, back on British soil and, more importantly, after having been debriefed, their stories have changed dramatically. They claim they were kept isolated from one another. (In fact, one of the sailors claims they were isolated; another claims they were not allowed to mutter even a word to one another, which I would think was pretty hard if they were in isolation anyway. So much for sticking to the same story...) They claim they were hooded on one occasion and that guns were being cocked behind them; they feared for their lives.

But we are also told that they were allowed to eat and drink and to smoke. That must have pleased the sole female among them, Fay Turney, who seemingly couldn't even make a televised appeal to the British nation without a fag in her hand. I mean, show some decorum, woman.

Am I'm starting to think, "Hold on. These people are supposed to be serving our country. They are supposed to be defiant in capture. Instead they spilled their guts like slaughtered pigs. 'Okay, we'll say we were in your waters. We'll do whatever you say. Please don't put us on trial. Sure, we'll tell Blair to get out of Iraq.'"

I'm not saying they don't have the right to be afraid. Of course they do. But they have behaved like big babies. And now they are coming out with "the truth" all of a sudden? Do me a favour.

I believe that as part of their debrief, they have been told to deliver a load of bullshit now, in order to justify Bush's imminent attack on Iran. An attack that is otherwise almost impossible to allow by international law.

And it's not just me who believes this. President Ahmadinejad claims the same thing too. I wouldn't ordinarily perhaps stand up and be counted alongside such a man. Equally, though, I don't wish to be counted alongside Blair. Or Bush.

No doubt the controvery will rage on. And we'll go to war. And thousands more lives will be lost. Whereas, right now, all that is needed is for us in Britain to shut up. Our "heroes" our back, safe and sound. They have served their country and we should be proud. My only concern is that they might have served their country right on to Bush's dinner plate, ready to be fed into the mouth of another unnecessary war.

We would do well, as a parting shot, to consider the fates of those people in Guantanamo Bay in all this. Compare and contrast what we know about the detention conditions of "our sailors" and those held in Guantanamo. From where I'm standing, I'd say "our sailors" had a fucking easy ride, or a "compulsory vacation", as Ahmadinejad has called it.

Related news links of interest:
Key quotes
What next for captives?
Iran dismisses sailors' accounts
Released sailors tell of ordeal
Mystery shrouds sailors' saga
Iran seeks goodwill over captives
Film pulled from TV schedule

Post #600, wherein I will undoubtedly navel-gaze a little and blather on about stuff I’m ill equipped to discuss on any meaningful level

It's the first day of spring. Happy spring to you all! (Thanks to Red for the lovely photo.)

And so it came to pass, my 600th post. It's taken a little longer than I had hoped, but you just can't rush these things. Well, you can, obviously. I've rushed many of the previous 599 posts at this blog. In fact, about 591 of them have been rushed. I did take my time over those three posts on cinema, though, and those few building up to my 500th.

Not only have I rushed almost 600 posts here, I've also rushed many of my posts on my other blogs. What a guy! So, there you have it: you can rush these things. Super!

So, 375 days and 600 posts. And not only that, but I've also watched more than 100 movies in that time, 99 of which I have reviewed; they can be found over at my movie-review site Such As They Are.

Anyway, I have a tendency to anticipate these "landmark" posts far too long in advance, and they become like an albatross. This is especially true when I haven't actually prepared anything in advance.

And it's not that I'm talking about having to "entertain my readers" or anything quite so "delusions of grandeur"-ish as that. It's all to do with my borderline OCD, a-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place mentality.

We have lightswitches in our house, you see. Much like you do, I suspect. The room in which I am typing this is upstairs. From my desk, without leaving my seat, I can turn on the lights in the room. But I don't like to do it once I'm up here. Why? Because it means the switch for the same lights at the foot of the stairs looks as though it's in the off position, when in my mind it should look as though it's in the on position.

Likewise, at the top and bottom of our other flight of stairs we have double switches: one for the light at the top and one for the light at the bottom. I like it when both are in sync with one another. I don't like when they are in alternate positions. Do you catch my drift, get what I'm saying, see where I'm coming from?

Yes, I alphabetize my CDs and DVDs, too. Who doesn't?

So, getting back to what I was saying. This symmetry, if you like, this "commemoration" of "event" posts is more to do with me wanting the 500th, 600th, 750th posts to be something that I'll consider worthwhile of my time.

But...

By overthinking them I will often end up with an outpouring of nonsense fit for consumption by neither man nor beast.

Furthermore, I actually don't have much to write about today. Well, that's not strictly true. There are several things that have got my goat over the past 24 hours and upon which I would gladly wax unlyrical, but these subjects are all downers, and I don't want my 600th post to be a downer. Subjects like:

1. British schools can now ban students from wearing full-face veils. (Small print: if the veil is inhibiting learning or a threat to personal safety.) I mean, what the fuck does that mean?! The headline says one thing, but then the option is removed entirely by perfectly impossible clauses.

2. Number of fatal stabbings in the UK higher this year already than in the whole of last year.

3. German animal activist wants to kill polar bear. (Or, as I would call this story: "Knut und kunt".) Have you heard this? What a fucking tosser!

I mean, the world's going down the fucking pan.

So, no, I don't want to post on any of that stuff. I want to be upbeat, at least for today.

But the powers that be are conspiring against me at all sides.

4. Gordon Brown and his fucking Budget. You know it can't be good for anyone and it's going to be full of bullshit. But let's not dwell, shall we?

Instead, I'll get this post rounded off with something almost witty or pithy or amusing, then get back to my work and hopefully manage to pop in and read a good number of the blogs on my blogroll.

But I can't think of anything witty, pithy, or amusing. Bugger!

And to top things off, I was going to post a video clip from YouTube, but the fucking thing's been removed because of copyright infringement. As a creative type, I understand the need for copyright (oh, God, I've done this rant before), but so much stuff just languishes in copyright owners' vaults at TV centres around the globe... Share the fucking love, you cunts!

So, turns out I did navel-gaze a bit in this post, but I did less blathering about things I know nothing about than I had expected. That'll teach me not to put the title in before writing the post in future, won't it?

Two cunts: a haiku

Tony Blair, Marga-
ret Beckett: cunts. Just in case
you needed telling.

Freedom of Information Act to be “neutered” by UK government

This is from this week's NUJ newsletter, which dropped into my inbox this morning. Although it may not affect you directly, I think this is something that we should all be alarmed about. (Bold type is my emphasis.) I've written to my MP this morning.

It’s the last chance to get in your protests about Government plans to neuter the Freedom of Information Act. The Act has been successfully used by journalists across all media to uncover information politicians, corporations and others want to keep secret.

Plans by the Government to amend the Act will make it easier for public authorities to turn down legitimate requests on the basis of cost. There are also plans to exempt MPs from the requirements of the Act.

The NUJ has joined forces with campaigners and industry bodies to oppose the changes. Make sure your voice is heard before the Government consultation closes on 8 March.

Sign up to the Press Gazette petition at http://www.pressgazette.co.uk.

Tell your MP what you think. Go to http://www.writetothem.co.uk.

For further information and other campaign tools see http://www.cfoi.org.uk. Do it today – before it’s too late!

General stuff that might interest you

I'm currently loving this, at my friend Candy's blog.

Meanwhile, Wife tells me that the British government doesn't want a worldwide abolition of the death penalty. Click to find out why. It involves America, of course.

And I've also put a couple of new film reviews up at Such As They Are, so why not check 'em out if you haven't already?

Open letter to Tony Blair

You know that bit about separation of Church and State? Suck it up, you washed-up, Bush-bitch, pussy-footing, barefaced-lying, election-promise-breaking, compromise-seeking cunt.

You can't renege on gay rights to adopt just because the Church doesn't want to give babies to what they clearly see as inferior, subversive members of the population. The Church is wrong and is acting in a divisive manner, not in the unifying way that we should be seeking in Britain and the rest of the world at large. Do you not get it, you stupid, hypocritical prick?

When the fuck will you just fuck off and leave us all in peace?

Kind regards,

* (asterisk)
with a tip of the hat to Lee for the letter thing.

A rack’s a dam and all that stuff

We all knew it was going to happen, of course, but the execution of Saddam Hussein has finally come to pass.

President Bush, we are told, was woken from his sleep (he went to bed at 9pm West Texas time) to hear the news. Wouldn't you think that as leader of the free world he might have stayed up a couple more hours for this momentous occasion? An occasion that has come around due to Bush Jr's illegal war-mongering, invading a country on false pretenses, solely to take revenge on the man who wanted to assassinate the first President Bush.

It's no secret that I think Bush is a cunt. Ditto Blair. A prize pair of cunts, the two of them. And it should go without saying that I have no love for Saddam. He was not a nice man. Did he deserve this fate? Well, maybe yes, maybe no.

Say what you like, though, he went to his death like a fucking hero. And that's how he'll be remembered. Those last few minutes of his life that we've all seen on the news today will live forever. We can only hope that we meet our own deaths with such courage.

And speaking of being remembered... Former Labour party minister Tony Benn said on the 2pm news here today that Blair will be remembered only for doing whatever Bush said. In other words, he will be remembered for being Bush's bitch. What a legacy.

We are the West. We bring freedom and liberty to oppressed nations.

If I may borrow from a film I recently watched: "Stuff it up your arse for nothing, and fuck off while you're doing it."

Is one Israeli life worth 10 Lebanese?

I'm really pleased with the way my tree and plant pics came out, and I'll do another post soon with some more.

In the meantime, I was hoping not to have to moan about the situation in Lebanon again for a while. I'm sure all bloggers try to be aware that they have a readership without necessarily allowing that readership to dictate what they write. First and foremost, we probably usually write for ourselves, and if people like what we write and come back time and time again, that's very gratifying.

-- By the way, let me take this opportunity to thank all of my regular readers for their visits and comments. It is appreciated. --

By the same token, though, we have to write what we feel. And sometimes readers may not agree. That's fine in a general sense -- if we disagree over the merits of a pop group or film, for example -- but can get trickier when you move into the arenas of politics and religion.

The whole business in Lebanon is my current albatross, if you will. In a sense I don't want to harp on about it anymore, because I don't want the patience of my readers to wear thin. But on the other hand, I feel so appalled by the situation that I can't help but write about it. I am essentially helpless in any other way in this matter. All I can do is put my words out there and hope they are read and counted along with those of any other protester.

If you are reading this and you are an Israeli and you live in Israel, know this: Despite what your government may be telling you, THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY DOES NOT SUPPORT YOUR COUNTRY'S ACTIONS. Bush does, and Blair does. And some people within their countries may well do, BUT MOST OF US DO NOT.

Furthermore, not content with destroying the infrastructure of Lebanon, the Israeli government has now gone against what it has been saying for days and has indeed decided to invade the country. Troops are creating a "safe zone" two kilometres (1.25 miles) wide on the Lebanon side of their shared border. They are, in other words, occupying a piece of Lebanese land 2km wide, and God only knows how long. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE BALLS OF THESE PEOPLE? They cannot help but lie. They have been lying for days about their intention in the conflict, and the lies just keep on coming.

In the meantime, of course, the death toll continues to rise. The UN estimates current mortalities as a result of the crisis as 600 Lebanese and 51 Israelis. The figures rise every day, but one thing has remained relatively constant: about ten times more Lebanese are dying than Israelis.

And as if all this weren't enough, Israel has also now decided to increase its activity in Gaza, where, according to some reports, up to 150 Palestinians have been killed over the past two or three days. Additionally they have virtually shut down the entire Palestinian fishing industry, firing upon any boat that moves too far away from the shore. Most fishermen have decided to give up even trying to fish. Around 10,000 Palestinians are reliant on the fishermen in this area for their food.

Again all this seems to have been started by the kidnapping of one Israeli soldier. One man.

Final word (for now...): the Israeli administration are a bunch of cunts.

“Hello, I’m Tony Blair, the prime minister of the United Kingdom, and I think cutting up animals is a whole lot of fun”

So UK PM Tony Blair - y'know, the guy who said he was gonna get tough on blood sports such as foxhunting if he got elected, way back in the 1990s - has now decided to give his prime ministerial backing to animal testing. What a cunt.

Of course "there are two sides to every story", but the truth is that just because a drug appears to work on animals, there is no guarantee that it'll work on humans. Indeed, a guy from the British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection on the news this morning said that 90 per cent of drugs tested successfully on animals turn out NOT to work on humans.

So what the fuck is the point? There must be another way. Y'know, things like stem-cell research. Oh yeah, that's unethical. Not like breeding animals with the sole intention of injecting them full of shit and cutting them up into tiny pieces before throwing them away like so much unwanted trash time after time after time.

Oh yeah, and that "two sides to every story" thing? It doesn't apply to Blair. He's a cunt.

Polling day

The Italians go to the polls today.

Will they see the light and "sack Berlusconi", as The Economist put it on its front page? Sadly, I doubt it. For all the moaning that Italians do about Berlusconi, they seem to really love him. He's like the J.R. Ewing of Italian politics – except, as far as I know, no one has ever shot him.

In some Italian circles he's commonly known as "the evil dwarf".

Trouble is, this evil dwarf wields a shitload of power.

It makes me proud to know that Tony Blair is such a good friend to Berlusconi and Bush. The unholy trinity. Let's hope Italy can succeed where the UK and the States have failed.

For more on this and other Italy issues, including the struggles young Italians have been facing for the past few years with their country's equivalent of the employment laws currently causing uproar in France, see Beppe Grillo's blog.