Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Easter came and went


Spent most of the weekend working, if only to justify my not working on Tuesday, when, instead, I headed out to the tattooist for two and a half more hours of inkage. Looking rad it is, too. Above is a snippet.

On the subject of tattooing, I heard of the death of one of London's premier tattoo artists a few days ago. Jason Saga had been on my shortlist of artists for consideration when I was looking for a new tattooist about 18 months ago. I found Xam instead, since my wants shifted away from Japanese style and more towards old school. But Jason's site remained in my bookmarks. Upon hearing of his death, I also learned that his wife had occasionally worked as a receptionist at my old tattoo studio. I'd admired her sleeves, and she told me, "My boyfriend Jason did them." I never put two and two together, though, since there are a few Jasons tattooing in London.

This is a sad loss for tattooing, and for British tattooing in particular. Despite the growing popularity of the artform, those of us genuinely interested in getting good work from respected artists are still a fairly small, minority community.

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Watched a few movies over the weekend. My list of movies still to review is ridiculous now. I think I'll have to cull some, write them off as too far in the past. Or maybe give them a sentence or two and a score.

Here's the list. Feel free to request a review or two!

Requiem
The World's Fastest Indian
Who Killed the Electric Car?
the fountain
Babel
London to Brighton
An Inconvenient Truth
Clapham Junction
Notes on a Scandal
Intacto
TV Junkie
Following
Stage Beauty
Timecode
Apocalypto
Creep
The Warrior and the Princess (aka Princess and the Warrior)
Best Laid Plans
The King
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Since Otar Left
The Bridge
Where the Heart Is
Eight Below
The Notorious Bettie Page
Hostel
Britz
Deep Water
Internal Affairs
A Scanner Darkly
Elf
Following Sean
The Closet
Aprile
Il Caimano
9th Company
Torremolinos 73
Charlie Wilson's War
Planet Terror
The Battle for Haditha
The Passion of The Christ
The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency
Chicken Run
.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

There Will Be Blood

I can't remember a title of a film that so literally but unspectacularly promised what was forthcoming.

Click here, where There Will Be A Review.

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Non-Lynch stuff

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Want movie reviews? We got ’em!

Been a bit short on time to blog this week. Also been short on time to look and edit the video footage I shot of all the cool dogs at the Dogs Trust Open Day, near Canterbury, on Sunday.

I have thrown up a couple of movie reviews over at Such As They Are, though, so feel free to swing by there and check them out.

Hope to catch up with you all soon... Once I get all this work out of the way.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Hmmm...

Inspirationless.
As dry as a nun's cunt, as they say. (Is that blasphemous?)
Hopefully something will come to me soon.
Meantime, I guess I'll write some movie reviews (such as they are).

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Where’d the week go?

Forgive me, reader, for I have sinned. It's been four days since my last blog post...

It's been one of those weeks where not much seems to happen worthy of writing:

1. Watched a couple of movies (16 Blocks and le dîner de cons), so they'll make it over to Such As They Are sometime in the distant future. Latest review over there at the moment is the highly recommended Manon des Sources.

2. Been working -- same ol', same ol'.

3. Got the year's expenses receipts organized for the accountant.

4. Bought some jeans from The Gap for £13.59 ($27), which was a total bargain. They were discounted anyway, and then I had a further 20 per cent off for a missing button on the fly!

5. Heard some disappointing news from my brother in his bid to get on The X Factor: in short, he didn't make it.

6. Watched more episodes of Seinfeld. Wife and I are working through all the episodes on DVD in chronological order. It opens it up to a whole new level of brilliance, seeing how the storylines run through entire blocks of shows. Genius.

7. Bought an aerial lead so I could get the Freeview channels on our TV. That way we can now record one channel while watching another, a luxury we haven't been afforded for years. Sure, I know there's fuck all on TV, but you can guarantee that, like buses, two good shows always come along at once.

8. I haven't shaved.

So, that's it. A week in the life of a 30-something self-employed man who blogs.

What will next week bring? Well, among other things I have the series finale of Heroes to look forward to. That's on Monday night. Beyond that, friends and loved ones, it's a blank canvas. Wish me luck...

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tuesday stuff

The day is fast disappearing, unlike my workload, and I fear I won't get a post done today. That makes me frustrated. Luckily, though, I did post a review over at Such As They Are first thing this morning, so that's good.

In other news: my Season 2 DVDs of Twin Peaks arrived today, and I couldn't be more excited. Well, I could be, I suppose -- about going on holiday and spending some quality time with the missus, for example -- or getting a new tattoo, but I'm still pretty psyched.

We went out after lunch and ordered some tiles for the kitchen, which we are getting redone in a few weeks. Bloody hell! £240 for a couple of walls' worth of tiles. I hope we've seriously overordered, cos they have a returns policy, thankfully, so we might get some money back after the job is done.

Oh well, I've got to get my ass to the post office now and pay my Visa bill. How lovely that is, huh?

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

Other recent bits and pieces

If you'd like to read my 100th movie review, head on over to Such As They Are for the lowdown on David Lynch's masterpiece Mulholland Dr.

And if you'd like to see a mathematical equation related to cats, click along to Cat: A Blog of Disasters to see what happens when I'm without a TV. I just have to make my own fun!

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Monday, March 05, 2007

New DVDs to watch

Saturday, Red and I went out to buy a new hi-fi* because our old one had given up the ghost. First the tape deck went wonky; then the CD trays began playing up and being fussy what discs they would play; and finally the minidisc slots started swallowing minidiscs.

And while we were out shopping at the wonderful Bluewater mall in Kent, I took the opportunity to use some of the funds still on my Virgin gift cards.

What goodies did I purchase?, you might be wondering. (Equally, you may well not be wondering, but I shan't let that stop me from sharing regardless.) I bought the following discs:

Brick, the one-disc version; I didn't even realize there was a two-disc version. Bugger! Not to worry. I don't even know yet if I like it, cos I ain't bleedin' sin it yet. I have high hopes.

The Three Burials of Tommy Lee Jones (or whatever it's called). Again, I have yet to see this, but the trailers look well wicked, so fingers crossed.

Open Water. You know the one about the two people who get left behind in the ocean after a diving trip. Uh-oh, shark bait! I enjoyed this film and thought it worth having on the shelf.

At £20 (US$40) for the three, I thought they were a bargain. So I guess these flicks will be getting reviewed over the coming weeks. As ever, though, I am somewhat behind in my reviewing.

For your information, these are the films I have seen in recent weeks but have not yet reviewed:

The Libertine
Domino
The Rundown
(aka Welcome to the Jungle)
The 6th Day
Crimson Tide
Mulholland Dr.
Tsotsi
25th Hour
The Family Stone


Anyone seen any of those? What did youse think?

* I use the term "hi-fi" very loosely, since for the sort of money we were paying and the size of system we bought, high fidelity is highly dubitable, but it seems okay so far. Its dinky size meant we could put it on the same side of the lounge as the TV and stuff, so for the first time in several years we've routed the TV and DVD players through it, too.

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Other posts from Casa AsteRed

I may well not get around to posting here today, but you can check out other stuff at these highly recommended blogs:

A film clip with poetry at Cat: A Blog of Disasters;

A movie review at Such As They Are;

An amusing tale of linguistics and music at Red-Letter Day.

Go, my friends, and enjoy them all!

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Busty ladies (and men)

Busy, busy, busy today. I don't know if it's just me -- and one day this will prove very embarrassing -- but often when I try to type "busy", I end up typing "busty". Can you imagine? There I am typing to a woman who might potentially give me some work: "Hi Geri. Are you still busty? If so, give me a call -- I might be able to help you out." Ouch!

Anyways, Red is still under the weather, so I'm trying to help her out a bit, but I'm also snowed under, and it's only going to get worse.

And tonight we can't even work a straight 12-hour day because we have "men" coming to look at our kitchen, which we are hoping to totally renovate before the summer. It's a galley kitchen, and this has been a long time coming, but it is quite necessary, even though we'll likely only gain three or four inches of walkway space. But show me a man who wouldn't be happy for three or four more inches...

I put a review up over at Such As They Are: it's for Good Night, And Good Luck., so why not go check it out?

In other news (and totally ignoring the real news in the world, such as the Italian prime minister resigning; God help us if Berlusconi gets back in), if recent traffic is any indication, I should receive my 20,000th visitor sometime over the weekend. If it's anyone I recognize from the SiteMeter, I'll give a shout-out. It could be you!

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Early morning postings

Nothing new here just yet, but Cat has updated his blog with a tale of more disaster.

And you'll find a review of the film Junebug over at Such As They Are. Upcoming reviews include Lost Highway, Domino, and The Libertine.

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

Movie reviews

I have finally finished transferring my backlog of movie reviews over to my movie review site Such As They Are.

Additionally, of course, there are quite a few that are exclusive to that blog, including the most recent additions, United 93 and Inside Deep Throat.

Coming soon: Junebug, The Break-Up, Domino, and more...

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

General stuff that might interest you

I'm currently loving this, at my friend Candy's blog.

Meanwhile, Wife tells me that the British government doesn't want a worldwide abolition of the death penalty. Click to find out why. It involves America, of course.

And I've also put a couple of new film reviews up at Such As They Are, so why not check 'em out if you haven't already?

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Late Christmassy film review

I've put a new review up at Such As They Are: A Christmas Story. Feel free to check it out.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

A quiet day, working

I have a couple of things to blog about but have not had much time today. First thing this morning, though, I put up a double-header of reviews over at Such As They Are: Indiscreet and Down With Love. Why not treat yourself and go check 'em out?

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Movie time!

I've fallen a bit behind with film reviews (such as they are) lately, and I've got a bit of a backlog, so without further ado, let's get on with them.

From Hell
I approached this film with caution, since I know it's been disowned by comic-book legend Alan Moore, who wrote the original graphic novel on which it is based. He was also the man behind The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and V for Vendetta, and he has also disowned those two films too. So it's safe to say that this man believes film-makers are doing a disservice to his stories. That said, I am a sucker for Johnny Depp films, even ones in which he adopts dodgy Cockney accents. At least his Cockney wasn't as bad as Heather Graham's Irish attempt. Who knew we had travelled such a short distance from the days of Dick Van Dyke as the chimney sweep? I like Jack the Ripper tales, though, and as it happens I don't think this was too bad. Opium wasn't Depp's only addiction, and when he fell for Graham's whore, I couldn't help but wonder whether absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. This one gets a throat-slashing 62 points.

Hercules in New York
It would be unfair to score this since I really saw only 20 minutes or so over lunch the other day. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger's first movie role, and he is so fresh-faced that it's hard to believe that he had even started shaving. This is unmissable if you get the chance. So terribly bad that it's great. In the scenes I saw, Arnie, playing Greek god Hercules, demonstrated his all-round prowess to a New York athletics team, before going off for a horse-and-carriage ride through Central Park with the daughter of the team's coach. Meanwhile, a European brown bear escapes from the zoo and finds its way into the park, whereupon Arnie wrestles and boxes the beats to the ground, thankfully subduing rather than killing it (not like that cunt from Metallica, who goes shooting bears in Russia for fun). The great thing about the bear scene, which takes place after dinner one autumn evening, is that it moves from dead-of-night-darkness to midday daylight. Fucking insane! This fish-out-of-water tale is really the forerunner of Borat, but 30 years earlier. Not scored.

Historias Mínimas (Minimal Stories)
From the maker of Bombón El Perro comes another wonderful little flick. I enjoyed this much more than Bombón because I wasn't expecting danger at every turn. It's a story of three folk from the same small Patagonian town heading to the city, some 200 miles away, for various reasons. There's barely a word more suitable for this than just "delightful". In the best possible way. Not much happens really for us as viewers; the journey here is all about the characters. I can't say fairer than 75 for this one.

Night Watch
This is currently in rotation on Film 4 in the UK, so if vampires are your thing, why not check it out? It's a Russian movie, apparently the first in a trilogy, and it was actually quite enjoyable. Not wholly original, though, since it clearly draws a lot of influence from both the Blade and Highlander franchises. What I will say, though, is that it is über-fucking-stylish. Also, I watch quite a lot of subtitled movies, and this one absolutely takes the cake for its subtitling. The humble text at the bottom of the screen almost becomes a character in its own right: coloured red it shifts in the water like the blood flowing from a child's nose; when a computer geek talks, the letters appear on screen one word at a time, as though being typed; when someone shouts, the words grow to half the size of the screen; when a character gasps, the words shimmer and flutter. They also sit on a plane somewhere within the action, so a person might walk past and wipe the words away as they move. The subtitling in this movie is great. And the movie's okay, too. A blood-sucking 64 out of 100.

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Cape Haute and Rue Ander

Don't they sound like exotic locations: Cape Haute and Rue Ander? The one could be a French-speaking part of Africa and the other a tiny side street in Paris, maybe. But they're not, are they? I'm just being very silly, aren't I? They are, rather, pretty rubbish clues to my two movie reviews this Thursday morn.

First up, Cape Haute, or Capote as it may be known to some of you.

To be fair, my knowledge of Truman Capote pretty much begins and ends with what I learned during this movie. Of course, I already knew that he wrote Breakfast at Tiffany's and In Cold Blood and that both of those books had been turned into successful movies. But beyond that, zilch, zero, nada, niente. But I'd been looking forward to the Oscar-winning tour de force performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman as the eponymous scribe.

The plot is simple: It's 1959, and author Capote goes on a magazine-column mission to report on the shock random murder of an entire family in a small town in the middle of nowhere. But when the perpetrators are tracked down and arrested, Capote's involvement grows, as does the scope of his article, which turns into a book: "the first non-fiction novel".

But he can't finish his book until the legal process is over. The ending of the story dictates the ending of his story, you see. And a string of appeals drags the process out and tries Capote's patience. It is here that we start to see Capote as nothing more than a self-serving arrogant prick, and yet his charm and intelligence are such that you know he would be good fun to hang out with, as long as the booze supply was limited.

I thought this was a truly great film. Naturally Hoffman was a standout. But then he is probably the finest actor working in the world today. Catherine Keener, as Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird, was great, too. I think she is a fantastic actor, and time after time I get so pissed off at how underused she is in everything. People should go to the gallows for the talent they waste when employing her for a job, seriously. And Chris Cooper, too: great job.

In fact, this has landed a spot in my list of Films You Should Watch If You Want To Know How To Act: it's right up there with Citizen Kane and Raging Bull. Kudos to Hoffman.

The film doesn't fully hold up to the lead performance, but then how could it? But I do believe that in years to come we will ask ourselves, "How the hell did Brokeback Mountain beat this to Best Movie?"

The Blog About Nowt score for this flick is a shotgun-pumping 82 out of 100.

And so to Rue Ander, or rather Shooting Dogs, which is set in Rwanda and is about the genocide there in 1994.

It's obvious that I'm going to compare this with Hotel Rwanda, which I watched a wee while back. Much of the background info is obviously the same, but the setting is new: this time we're in a technical college rather than a hotel, and the heroes of the hour are a Catholic priest and his young protegé.

Immediately after watching it, I felt that it wasn't as strong as that other film. For example, I hated the young male lead. Hated, hated, hated. Maybe it's a class thing, but he just came across as an annoying wimpy ponce, which, granted, the script kind of implied he was, when his character says something like: "I grew up with everything, so I came here to give something back. Sometimes I give myself a pat on the shoulder and say, 'You're starring in your own Oxfam ad'." Indeed, he realizes what a terrible cliché he is. Still, it didn't stop me from finding him annoying as fuck.

And John Hurt as the priest. I don't know... I just don't get priests. He just came across as a deluded, crazy old fool.

Of course, all of this can't take away from the horrific situation that people like this were living through. But at the end of the day, most of them walked away back to their safe European homes and left the locals to be machete'd to death. Nice. This period in such recent history should be a huge blot on the UN's conscience. But I fear it is merely indicative of what a shitty, toothless waste of space it really is.

On the plus side, this film at least didn't have the happy Hollywood ending that Hotel Rwanda had (I'm talking within the setting of the film, rather than of the war itself, obviously), and I can't help thinking how much better this film might have been if made by the team behind that other movie and with different actors. (Although even this film had to have a tacked-on "five years later" happy coda.)

Bottom line: Good horrible story, unappealing actors, annoying epilogue. 62 out of 100

To see how these two films rank alongside all the others I've reviewed in these pages, check out this post.

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Friday, November 10, 2006

TV sucks; films rule

All I'm doing at the moment is working and watching films. I love watching films. It's way better than watching TV, for example. With a few exceptions, such as great wildlife series that have taken years to make, or the occasional documentary, television is mostly shit. Sure, we all watch the odd reality show or soap or whatever, but deep down we know it's shit. We watch it just for the escapism, or to look at someone less fortunate than ourselves, glad that we're not in their shoes.

But films are art. It may sound shallow, but I can never truly trust someone who says they don't like films. Y'know, people have actually said to me that they can't watch films. They don't have the attention span. Or they're just "not interested". Huh? I don't get that. It doesn't matter what you are into in life, there is a film for you, just as there is a book for you, or a painting, or even a TV show. To simply be "not interested" in films is ridiculous.

So -- didn't you just know it? -- all of this preamble is leading up to yet another film review (such as they are). The film I watched most recently (two nights ago) is a rare second viewing. Rare these days, that is. I used to rewatch films often, but not so much now.

Samuel Fuller's Pickup on South Street is a real class act that works on several levels. Despite being a film noir, this was actually made more than a decade after The Maltese Falcon, and this distance has helped Fuller to get a bit post-modern on the genre. There is a humour throughout the picture that you just don't see much of in those earlier noirs. The speed with which Candy falls in love with Skip, for example, is laughable, but you go with it because you know you're going to get paid off in spades later. But not in Sam Spades, because this is Fuller's world, and the detective can never be the guy you root for.

The plot revolves around some pickpocketed microfilm of US governmental secrets that is on its way to being sold to the Commies. Well, it's 1953, folks, and the red threat was all around. But this isn't really the point. The microfilm is the MacGuffin that drives the story. Don't get me wrong -- the story is slight, but what do you expect in 80 mins?

What you should expect is fun and action and the subversive take that Fuller brings to all his pictures. Never one to shy away from the ugly truth, Fuller takes the Bogart-style slaps across women's faces that are so commonplace in noir and shows us the deep bruising and swollen jaws that follow. The wide-angle tracking shot that Fuller uses to shoot the brawl between Candy and her traitor boyfriend Joey is a real eye-opener. It's brief, but in these days of fast cutting and close-ups and half the time not having a clue where you're supposed to be looking, this approach looks as fresh now as it did then. Gritty and real. A true tussle unfolding before you in real time.

Aaahh, you know, I liked this film. It's not a great film, as I said, in terms of story, but it's a simple tale brilliantly told and expertly made. If you're not familiar with Fuller's work, pour yourself a Scotch on the rocks, get your best dame beside you, and check this out. Shit, even if you like Fuller and you know this film well, why not pour yourself a Scotch on the rocks, get your best dame beside you, and check this out again?

What's the scores on the doors, then? I'll give it 72.

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Films of the past few days

Caché (Hidden)
Michael Haneke is fast becoming one of my favourite directors. I think of him as the David Lynch of "foreign" cinema. Indeed, so much so that this movie starts with a couple receiving video tapes of their house under surveillance, à la Lynch's Lost Highway. A little further in, a dinner guest tells a story about a dog, the punchline of which is identical to Jack Nance's canine tale in Wild at Heart. A fair amount of the film plays out in near darkness, as does much of Lynch's oeuvre, especially the last third, apparently, of his upcoming Inland Empire. So, is Haneke a dirty robbing bastard? Well, I rather think not. What he is is a great film-maker creating often challenging pieces of work that play with notions of time and personal interrelations. Hidden sees a return to the theme of rewinding time, in this case, videotape, much as he did so brilliantly in one key scene in Funny Games. It also adds fuel to my belief that he is obsessed with doorways. I really liked this film, despite having to watch it in three sittings. Just think how much more I would have liked it in one. 80 out of 100.

The Omen
Previously I've only ever seen snippets of The Omen, like, 25 years ago. We all know what The Omen is about, don't we? The devil's son is "adopted" by Lee Remick and Gregory Peck and marks the beginning of the end of the world, apparently. I've gotta say, despite being a pretty old movie, this was still quite good. You have to ignore the fashions of the time, of course, but the story is strong and the film well acted. Hell, it's even got Patrick Troughton in it, who was the second Doctor Who, back in the '60s! Speaking of the 60s, I'll give this 62 points.

Last Party 2000
Philip Seymour Hoffmann fronts this documentary following the 2000 US elections, the ones that Bush and his brother rigged so that Dubya would win the presidency. It's pretty much what you would expect, given that we all know the outcome only too well, but it is interesting, and there are some great quote, like this one from GWB himself: "If we don't win the state of Florida, my brother Jeb will be in big trouble." Oh, that plays great now, don't it, Georgie Boy? There are also celeb talking heads such as Noam Chomsky, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Bill Maher, and others. Somewhat of its time, this film, but interesting nonetheless. 62 points.

Dog Soldiers
The British film industry has been closely tied to horror for some 40 years, and Dog Soldiers was widely held up as a return to form on its initial release. I saw this on the Sci-Fi channel, and unfortunately it was pan-and-scanned and had commercial breaks, but at least it wasn't cut for language or violence. It was a reasonably enjoyable romp, played well by all concerned, and it was far better than the director's next film, The Descent. A middling 60 for this.

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