A problem of faith

For many years, somebody close to me has firmly held on to one belief system while I mocked, jeered, and denied her words.

But it's not only me. Having spoken with other men on the subject, I came to the conclusion that this belief system was an integral part of the male/female divide.

But this morning, following my shower, I had an epiphany, I saw the light, I was hit with a moment of clarity.

Shaving causes hair growth.

That's right, fellas, you heard me. I've moved over to the dark side.

I first noticed the hair on my right upper arm, the arm I just recently had tattooed. I've had two sessions, shaving before each one, as is the norm, even though there was hardly any hair to speak of. This morning I see that the hair now growing through is already longer than the hair on my upper left arm, which, despite having been tattooed several times, has never really had any more than a quick lick with a razor by the tattooist (as opposed to my meticulous efforts) and I had it tattooed before being particularly hairy there, which leads me to a footnote.*

Then I looked at my forearms. The right one has hair on it, sure, but there's not as much of it, and nor is it as dark, as the hair on my left arm, the tattooed one that has been shaved fully several times.

I can't believe it. I'm still trying to convince myself that hair growth is not uniform and these are just quirks of nature. But the evidence speaks loudly, my friends.

Am I in the minority? Do you believe that shaving causes thicker, blacker hair regrowth. I'm so confused, I just don't know what to think anymore. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

* I have also come to the non-scientific conclusion that tattooing before hair growth occurs actually retards hair growth.

The things people say

Sometimes people say things to us that we remember for a long time. They stay with us for years. I occasionally remember things from my childhood that mean nothing. Maybe a nice thing that a friend or teacher said that no doubt meant nothing to them, but somehow it has stayed with me, inexplicably "meaning something" to me.

And of course there are occasions when people say mean things. They don't always mean them to be mean, but they kind of are anyway. Like the first time I went to a hairdresser in central London, and she told me I was going thin on top.

But I want to focus on the nice things people say. Just as with mean things, though, the nice things aren't necessarily always intentional.

Here are two things people have said to me that I hold on to as compliments, though I know they maybe weren't meant to be.

1. An acting teacher once told me: "You remind me of Marlon Brando. You don't act so much as you react." Now, I know some people don't dig on Marlon, but many people regard him as one of the finest actors in the history of cinema. I'll gladly take that comment!

2. A friend once said: "You talk as though you are in a movie." Once again, some might perceive that as meaning I talk in a contrived, overly expletive-laden fashion with a few Americanisms thrown in. I think that means I talk like a cool and hip motherfucker!

So, dear readers, what have people said to you that you have decided to hold on to and consider compliments?