Madonna and Mr Madonna to split up

I know, I know, he's got a name. He's an esteemed director. Did I say "esteemed"? Sorry, I meant "steaming pile of shite", my bad.

Anyway, here the BBC News website promises us "the marriage's memorable moments". I wonder if it includes my favourite memorable moment: the one where Guy (see, his name is just like guy, dude, bloke) sneakily glances at his watch while Madge is trying to adopt some little African kid.

What's up, guy, things moving a little too slow for you? Got something better to do, another flop to make maybe.

Losers!

My only regret is that they should announce this just as Madge's biggest fan has had a glamorous wedding in Vegas. Big love to Candy and the Stagg Man, and congrats!