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What is with the way Liza Minnelli talks?! "Shtart shpreading the newzh", and all that? Anyway, ridiculous as that is, it pales in comparison to what a complete fucking talentless, pitchy, piece-of-shit performer she has become.

Witness the clip below, courtesy of YouTube, of a show I saw on Italian TV in our hotel when in Seville. Fast-forward to 5:22 when she gets into her shtride with "New York, New York", and schtick with it if you can.

Sherioushly, if she were an unknown in thish day and age, she would be laughed off any shtage she grayshed. Embarrashing. Give up, Lizha, and make room for shum new talent.