Monday, September 25, 2006

Walks and dogs and fences and films – phew!

Well, what a busy weekend, which is why there was such a lack of posts.

I started Saturday with a full English breakfast and a two-hour walk in Whitstable. Red has most of the details in this post over at her blog. One thing she missed out, though, was our encounter with The Hound of the Motherfucking Baskervilles.

There we were, about halfway through our walk, and I'm taking some pics of the missus with a nice seascape kind of background, when all of a sudden she says, "Omigod, omigod, look out * (asterisk)!" The next thing I hear is this clumping of hooves behind me and a loud panting sound.

reflections in a shaded eye

I turn around and see some sort of fucking pitbull making a beeline for us. Now, I'm pretty much a dog person, and Red loves 'em too, but you've got to be a little nervous when a pitbull comes at you at around Mach 2. The hairs (little fine blonde ones, of course) on Red's arms were proper on end, man, and she's particularly scared of pitbulls and bull terriers and the like. And how can you blame her, when you hear all these tales of maulings?

I called the dog over to me and put on my excited-to-see-you-and-not-a-tiny-bit-scared-so-you-can't-smell-my-fear voice, all the while keen to keep my hands and face away from his 17-inch-long vice-like teeth. The owner wasn't far behind and he called the dog back, not that the dog took any notice, just kept running around our ankles and panting. He just wanted to play, really, but it was an interesting couple of minutes. We figured the guy wouldn't have him off the lead if he was dangerous; although, tellingly, he put him back on the lead after our encounter...

Did a bit of work the rest of the day, and then Sunday did a bit of mundane stuff, like putting up a fence in the back garden to prevent the Satan child next door from climbing over again. That really fucking pisses me of when he does that.

Oh yeah, I also put some lipstick on the missus. She might post about that in the coming days. Turns out I'm not very good at it. And the lipstick is a bit more permanent than we had expected. Oops.

I sort of got back on track with some movie watching, too, clocking up three films in total. So I'll be putting up some reviews, such as they are, in the coming hours.

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Blogger Shep said...

Yesterday I watched My Super Ex-Girlfriend and The Lady In The Water.

Both were shit. For different reasons. But still a bit of a waste of the evening.

25 September, 2006 15:45  
Blogger a.c.t said...

New Parks (the scene of the dog mauling incident) is about 10 minutes away from my parent's house. That area is rough as old boots and the people who live there are probably even scarier than the dogs.

25 September, 2006 16:22  
Blogger Tanya said...

Sounds good. Looking forward to your reviews. :-)

25 September, 2006 16:27  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

sounds like such a lovely day... and i tend to bristle with fear when an unknown animal with the word "bull" in it's title charges at me

25 September, 2006 16:40  
Blogger Kate said...

I'm with Red, they are horrible, scary dogs. God knows why anyone would want one.

Looking forward to the reviews!

25 September, 2006 17:57  
Blogger ems said...

'Satan child next door.' On our estate we have Evil Child, Evil Child's Sister, Spoilt Twat...the list is endless. Not that I would want to be accused of labelling.

25 September, 2006 19:07  
Blogger Fruning Graplecard said...

Putting lipstick on the wife? Strangely, the present Mrs Graplecard, or to give her her due title, Grafienė Stacey Graplecard enjoys putting lipstick on me.

Then, we go to each other's wardrobes and she has this nice little basque from La Senza....

Sorry, I will get my coat.

25 September, 2006 23:42  
Blogger _z. said...

I have to admit. I wouldn't be too comfortable with those teeth jumping and moving on and about me...

you reacted well... I find!

26 September, 2006 02:44  
Blogger apositivepessimist said...

Barbed wire. That is the key to keeping heathen kids out of yer yard...if you want it pretty like I found a nice bougainvillea with big fuck-off-outta-my-yard-thorns also worked pretty good.

I woulda pee’d down my leg...somehow I reckon that may have given my fraidycatness away.

26 September, 2006 06:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have to agree wit a.p.p. it wouldn't be able to detect the fear in my voice for the smell of poo in my pants!
as for rilms, watched two testerday. in her shoes, not bad for a "chic flick", and nanny mcphee, which the screenplay was written by emma thopson, and is a modern piss poor re-working of mary poppins. avoid!
but on the plus side i have bought made in england on dvd, and a double best of ian dury cd all for a measly £8 this morning! result

26 September, 2006 06:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*films (non were japanese!)

26 September, 2006 06:55  
Blogger Adam said...

I saw on one of your other posts where you talked about eastern films - and I watched a Thai movie last night "One Take Only" - also known as "Som and Bank: Bangkok For Sale" - it wasn't unwatchable, but it wasn't great. Oldboy was awesome, from what I saw of it.

I'm interested in seeing "The Maid" and "Lady Vengeance"

26 September, 2006 06:59  
Blogger Suze said...

I once had a great dane jump up at me. If there hadn't been a wall behing me he would have brought me down. On his rear legs he must have been about 7'. He wasn't aggresive though, I had a very licked face when he had finished. LOL

Looking forward to hearing about the lipstick! Very interesting.

26 September, 2006 09:56  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Shep: I'm not sure about either film... I quite like Shyamalan, although I think he's a better director than writer. His stories are shit, but his film-making is really good, I think. May catch it on DVD some time.

ACT: That doesn't surprise me...

Tanya: Yeah, it was fun. I watched another movie last night, tool, so now I've got four reviews (such as they are) to write.

Martha: That sounds perfectly sensible!

Kate: I subscribe to the "no bad dogs, only bad owners" idea. Dogs essentially aim to please, and if they are left to their own devices they get bored. Some might just eat your socks or destroy your wallpaper. Others...? Well, let's just say you wouldn't want them in the same room as a 5-month-old baby.

26 September, 2006 10:14  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Ems: Hell, no, we won't get into labelling over here! What do people take us for?!

Fruning: Yes, well, what can I say? ;-)

_z.: I think I did, with hindsight! It all seemed sensible at the time, but you never know, do you?

APP: I don't know what it's like in Oz, but over here you can't (legally) do the barbed wire thing, or broken glass cemented into the top of your wall, or "anti-climb" paint on your drainpipes. Why? because if someone hurts themselves trying to, um, break into your property, you can be sued. What the fuck is that all about? What a fucked-up country, huh?

26 September, 2006 10:18  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Cappy (& APP): That's funny on your toilet habits! In Her Shoes looks about 12% interesting for me; Nanny FcMee not at all. (BTW, did no one in marketing think about the spoonerism connotations of the word McPhee? Ridiculous!) I keep meaning to buy Made In Britain (did you mean that? The Tim Roth film? Great movie), but never get around to it, and I picked up that Dury set a couple months ago (the orange one, yes?). Bargain, though, two for £8. Fucking hell.

Adam: I don't know those movies, except for Lady Vengeance, which is on my list of films to watch. I'll be putting one of my reviews (such as they are) up on Escape Artists later.

Suze: It's not so bad if you know a certain dog isn't aggressive, although that's not always easy... They are really powerful animals, though -- even the little ones. Ah, yes, the lipstick... Maybe some things should remain unsaid...

26 September, 2006 10:26  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

Oh dear...I don't think dogs should be let off leads period ina populated area. I am dog person, love them all...and also go by "no bad dogs just bad people" and how come so many assholes get pit bulls? In fact, they seem to be you know an asshole as soon as you see what kind of dog they have.

Pit bulls can be lovely animals...but the problem is, their jaws are slightly different than other dogs. If a pit bull bites you its not the same as when a lab bites you...well, that is if it bit you. Different dogs are also different temperments, right? A German Shepard is a skitish dog, and the first to bite. should always be aon a lead, maybe even muzzled.

I love dogs, but it makes me sick how we have over bred them, and made them nuts.

Oh, Stagg has never had a basically terrified of dogs. It's very oddd. For me having lived with so many animals and worked professionally with animals...he will go out of his way to avoid being any where near a dog. He is allergic to cats...although, when we were in Caanda and staying with friends, he ahd forgotten his cat allergy stuff...and broke out sneezing...he never beleives me that allergies are linked to vitamin B deficiency, okay? So I gave him a vitamin b huge dose, nose cleared up, no more sneezing.

We don't talk about it...:)

Slowly slowly we discuss getting pets someday when we're rich so they can have their own apartment. I record nature shows about the mind and social intelligence of animals and thei consciousness...I am evil...

26 September, 2006 17:42  
Blogger tideliar said...

Hmmm, New Parks & 'The Leys". My (soon-to-be-ex) father-in-law is from New Parks. Full of cunts. really shity married near there. Had to have someone on guard duty outside the chapel so the cars didn't get nicked...

26 September, 2006 19:17  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Candy: Yes, that's right about the pitbull mouth. I'd sorta forgotten, but they are real lockjaw dogs, aren't they? Crazy scary. Overbreeding, unfortunately, is not just a dog problem. Cats, too, cos so many people won't neuter. And dare I say humans also? Often the other end of a pitbulls lead is an asshole, yeah. Shame really, cos it helps give the breed a bad name. It makes me sick to see irresponsible owners with animals that they can't really afford to keep, and can't be arsed to take for a walk. I won't have a dog until I can spare that sort of time and commitment.

TL: I've not been there, but it sounds fab!

27 September, 2006 11:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry, typo hell yesterday, full of cold, and these new antibiotics are giving me gyp.
yes i did mean MADE IN BRITAIN, cool film, if a little short at 73 minutes. but i suppose as it was a made for tv thing, with the adverts it was originaly near the 90 minute mark.
fanny mcnee, the spoonerisms are the only interesting thing about it. from the minute go you know what is going to be the outcome.

27 September, 2006 15:20  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

No probs, Cappy!

29 September, 2006 09:13  

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