Thursday, April 05, 2007

Who moved my cheese? No, I mean, Who changed my coffee?

My e-mail to Cafédirect:

Hello.

I'd like to ask whether any changes have been made to the Cafédirect blend when you rebranded it from 5065 to Classic. To my palate it does not taste as good any more. Indeed, I am unable to finish a cup, it's that unappealing. And not only that, it is not as attractive in the cup anymore, looking like a cheap greasy-spoon-cafe type of coffee, leaving a nasty film around the cup's rim.

I have been drinking Cafédirect since way back before it was rebranded as 5065, so I think I have a good grasp on the way it should look and taste. On that note, why rebrand it anyway? The new look is very bland and generic and caused much confusion to both myself and the supermarket staff when I was trying to buy my usual jar.

I look forward to hearing from you on the points raised here.

Yours disappointedly on several counts.

Their reply:

Dear _____,

Thank you for your email. We greatly value consumer feedback. As part of our continuing improvement programme we have improved the flavour of the freeze dried coffee to make it more similar to ground and 5065 has been replaced by Classic Blend. The residue you have found around your cup is a sign of the coffee's quality. We will not be reintroducing 5065.

You may like to try our new Intense or Special Selection freeze dried coffees. I am sorry you do not like Classic Blend and I will pass your comments on to my Brand manager.

Thank you for supporting us from our beginnings; I hope you will continue to and that one of our new coffees is to your liking.

Kind Regards.

Conclusion:

Despite having been told by Sainsbury's that these two coffees are one and the same, patently this is not the case. The coffee I have enjoyed for the best part of 10 years is no more. I rue this day. What cunt made this decision? And why the fuck was I not consulted? The swines.

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19 Comments:

Anonymous Mr Angry said...

Ah yes, the nasty filmy residue is obviously a sign of quality. How stupid of us.

Just like its appearance is the a sign of a good bath.

Excellent use of the word 'cunt' by the way.

05 April, 2007 11:57  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

If they ever touch me beer....

05 April, 2007 13:14  
Blogger Karen said...

Is freeze-dried the same as instant? If so...that's not real coffee anyway.

05 April, 2007 13:32  
Blogger Milla said...

If you don't want a dirty rim, wash the cup better next time.

P.S. Do as I do: when I go to Italy, I bring back packs and packs of coffee, enough to last me until the next trip to my village. It's the only way.

05 April, 2007 13:36  
Blogger _z. said...

why don't you get your caffeine from drinking Coke like I do.

05 April, 2007 15:09  
Blogger Tanya said...

Ah. Indeed. Piss water. I have tried some of these before and they have tasted like piss water.

05 April, 2007 16:23  
Blogger Pendullum said...

So sorry for the loss...
Have you written the president of your coffee label?
followed your coffee representative home??? these plans of action could maybe have the people who make these life changing decisions take note of your plight!

05 April, 2007 17:05  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

Oh isn't it incredible you tasted the difference...and you wondered am I making this up? I notice when products change too and it feels so yucky when you are loyal to a brand becuase of what it is...

Are you going to go ona new coffee bean expedition? Organic green beans you raost yourself in the overn is my recommendation.

I go down the steet for a cup of joe take out whe I get a coffee craving. I don't drink coffee at home.

My sister would understand exactly because she has a fine palete like yours for coffee beans.

05 April, 2007 18:43  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

It's called progress....

Sigh.

Puss

05 April, 2007 20:54  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

what an odd response.

i'm beginning to hate customer servicers

yuck.

05 April, 2007 21:50  
Blogger Ben said...

Anybody see B.J. Novak on Conan O'Brien last night do an exposé on Cadbury's sneaky underhanded shrinking of their eggs?

Sometimes they really are out to get you.

05 April, 2007 23:31  
Blogger Odat said...

Geeze and they didn't even offer you a case of free coffee....bastards! ;-)
Peace

06 April, 2007 00:42  
Blogger Pickled Olives said...

I can't imagine being faithful to a coffee for any amount of time. I am way too fickle. So. Now what are you going to do? The company genuinely sounds like they don't feel your pain.

07 April, 2007 12:28  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Mr Angry: I use cunt well most of the time. Yes, scummy cup = great brew. Hmmm.

4D: Beer is a no-go zone, surely...

Karen: Yeah, same stuff. I know, but I can't drink real coffee all day...

Milla: Is that some sort of double entendre...?

08 April, 2007 10:00  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

_z.: My Coke-drinking days are largely long gone, thankfully.

T: This one does now.

Pendullum: They won't listen. They never do. And yet they always claim changes are as a result of customer feedback. Lying cunts.

08 April, 2007 10:01  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Candy: I'm a fine-palate-having motherfucker, and no messing. I tasted the difference immediately. It was so obvious. I've beend rinking this stuff so long, and they think they can pull the wool over my eyes?! Shiiit.

G/puss: Progress is fine when stuff gets better. Why does progress so often mean shittier these days, though?

Martha: Customer service, by and large, is staffed by morons who don't want to serve customers at all.

08 April, 2007 10:03  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Ben: Don't get me started on Conan... They've axed that over here too! I'm furious. Naturally I wrote an email of complaint.

Odat: No. I almost wrote back to request a free sample of some sort, but fuck 'em.

Olives: They feel no pain, they'll get no gain. Financial gain, that is, from me. Bye bye Cafédirect.

08 April, 2007 10:05  
Blogger ~ erika gabrielle said...

They should've just left it the way it was. They probablylost more customers than hoped to gain when they introduced Classic Blend. And how rude! No free anything to compensate!

P.S. I'm going to college!!!

09 April, 2007 12:25  
Blogger Milla said...

Is that some sort of double entendre...?

Ma noooooooooooooooooooo I'm not that sophisticated with my words, you know?
I really meant that if the cup is dirty, you should wash it better :-D

10 April, 2007 13:11  

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