Solomon Grundy, for real

I write this with no malice or insensitivity intended, but it just struck me how tragically Solomon Grundy-like the subhead was for this news report:

"The British couple shot on their honeymoon in Antigua will be buried together after a funeral service at the church where they were married three weeks earlier."

I hate the way they are reporting this as a botched robbery. Like any newlywed couple on the last day of their honeymoon would put up any resistance to armed intruders. They'd be, like, "Just take everything you want and go, please." People are cunts.