Thursday, May 31, 2007

Stuff and stuff

Sunday: Worked all day, but found time to do a little post about shaking my spear, below.

Monday: Worked all day, despite it being a holiday in the UK.

Tuesday: Worked until lunchtime, then headed out to the tattooist for some recolouring on a tattoo that I never got finished. It's two years since it last had any work done on it. Now I think it's finished. Though I can't help but feel it still needs a little sumpn sumpn.

Wednesday: Worked all day and got mad pissed off with some people we're working for. What is with people? I know not all people are cunts, but sometimes... sometimes it sure seems that all people I have to deal with are. I also found time to update Such As They Are for the first time in a month. I made a silent promise to post a new movie review over there at least once a week. And Lord knows I have a backlog to wade through.

Thursday: Started the day, as we do most days at the moment eating breakfast while watching an episode of Seinfeld, the show about nowt after which this blog was named. We've been working our way through the DVDs while waiting for Season 5 of Scrubs to get released. Then we headed out to Asda to do most of our weekly grocery shopping. We couldn't find the tofu. I knew it was a mistake but I thought I'd ask a member of staff.

"Excuse me, do you know where I'd find tofu?"
"Uh, find what?"
"Toad food?"
"No, tofu."
"What is it?"
"It's ... [I tell myself not to mention beancurd or allude to anything 'foreign'...] It's a meat substitute for vegetarians."
"Oh, then it's probably in the meat aisle."
"I don't know," I say. "You carry other products by Cauldron, and they produce tofu. So I thought it might be in the freezer section."
"Oh... I'd better find someone who'll know. Come with me."

I follow her. She talks to another staff member. She too looks confused by the word tofu. I suggest that it could be in the chilled section, rather than frozen.

"Let's have a look there, then," says the second woman, and we walk towards that section. "It's not something I've been asked for before."

We stand there looking at the shelves. My eyes alight on the Holy Grail. I reach for the tofu. "Here it is!" I exclaim gleefully. "I'd better check the sell-by date, since no one knows you sell it!" It's all good. "You'll know where it is now next time someone asks," I suggest. Fortunately they don't kill me. You never know in this neck of the woods. And Asda.

Labels: , , , , , , ,


Blogger Pendullum said...

More spunk that I would have had... I would have known fromthe blank expression it was not worth even trying to have them find it...
My last think I went looking for was Jicama... I found it but the store people told me that it was an island where i could get marijauna... and they do not sell marijuana in their store... no sirree... no Jicama,and no marijuana... i found the Jicama...

31 May, 2007 11:46  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

That's Asda for you - imagine if they spent their money on staff training rather than giving it to Sharon Osbourne for being smug.


31 May, 2007 12:48  
Blogger furiousBall said...

Wait a damn minute...I thought all you English folk were really smart? Was that grocer a dumb American like me?

I once asked a stock boy where the fajita meat was in the frozen food aisle. He then handed me a box of what he was stocking which was frozen chicken fricassee. Turns out he couldn't read - ahhh, our public schools!

31 May, 2007 15:35  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

I have been home all week writing and I'm going to be so gutted to go back to work next week. I really want to work from home forever. Worse than this, I'm going back to two AWAY DAYS. God help me.

31 May, 2007 16:20  
Blogger Red said...

Next time we'll ask where the bok choi is!

31 May, 2007 16:47  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Pen: My missus was convinced it would all be in vain. Oh ye all of little faith!

G/puss: Staff training? WTF is that?

F/ball: Damn, I've shattered another illusion. Oh well, there you have it. Some folks are smarter than others, regardless of nationality.

LUVM: You've been home all week writing? Nice work if you can get it, right?

Red: Oh, that'll really fuck 'em up.

31 May, 2007 17:09  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

wow. you've seriously had a lot going on! no wonder you and red have been MIA.

well... that and the fact that red's been sick :(

i can't believe they didn't know what tofu was! wow.

31 May, 2007 18:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tofu is tha best stuff i cant believe tha store guy dint no were capers were n then he thot thay were peas by tha descript

31 May, 2007 18:55  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

it was my holiday! I needed to finish my novel which I still haven't (but should this week). it's my only hope of escaping 9-5 hell!

31 May, 2007 20:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IF she doesn't know tofu, do you really think she'll know bok choi??? Hahaha. I hate the grocery store.

01 June, 2007 01:42  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

I wondered, Red is too ill to make it to a are no where to be found in nowt have had a trying week and didn't you forget to mention your kitchen is being reno-ed? Yikes! Good to see some action around here. Have taped On The Lot...and Pirate Master...sending them on Saturday...

01 June, 2007 13:53  
Blogger Cynnie said...

I was trying out my spanish..and asked a store clerk where quimbombom ( okra) was ..oh my lord jesus ..
they showed me everything from marshmallows to canned foods..

01 June, 2007 15:30  
Blogger Suze said...

Asterisk after a week like that you need to chill this weekend.

You also reminded me to try tofu one day. I just need some good recipes.

Have a good one!

01 June, 2007 20:54  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

nowt replaces a good old fashioned chicken vindaloo.

Have a good chill mate. yer seem stressed.

01 June, 2007 23:28  
Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

Toad Food? I know Asda sells lots of stuff but did he really think Toad Food was a real money spinner Asda have just introduced?

02 June, 2007 10:32  
Blogger Milla said...

Toad food? Hmmm what do toads eat? Flies and the such?

02 June, 2007 15:06  
Blogger Gardenia said...

Ya sure you don't live in Wyoming? Not only do they think you are crazy if you eat more than a hamburger and fries, you are made fun of. Makes one want to just let go of self control and lose it. I don't know why this happens (I'm sure its totally to annoy those of us who actually care about what our bodies take in) - but you are right - if its in their store - why don't they know it - ok, they could be new - but the rest of the workers?

02 June, 2007 15:42  
Blogger cappy said...

cauldron tofu?

it's on aisle four at our place alongside their sausages and other stuff.
you want me to get you a job lot?
can do!
bloody asda, thats why they trail far far behind us!

02 June, 2007 23:54  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Who links to me?