Monday, May 14, 2007

“My inspiration has run dry”

Venice: Unlike me, not dry.

What better title for a post than a Natalie Imbruglia lyric? That's right, folks, nothing is right, I am, y'know, torn and shit. Yup, I’m as dry as a nun's cunt, as we used to say back in my old hometown.

The reason for this desert-like state of bloggy being is, as it always is with me, a valanga of work. (That's your Italian lesson of the day. Valanga [literally "avalanche"] is used to mean "shitload".)

Saturday morning I started working at 6am and I finished at 8pm. In between, any breaks I had were used to eat lunch, go food shopping and to the post office, and start clearing out the kitchen.

Sunday I started work at about 8:30am, having had a bit of lie-in, and I finished at 6pm so that I could do some more work clearing the kitchen and have my dinner. I then went back to work at 11:25pm for an hour.

What's with all the kitchen clearing? Well, this week is the week we are having our new kitchen fitted. Everything is changing (except the cooker and washing machine, and I think we are beginning to regret that we didn't decide on new ones of those, too).

So for most of this week we will be without a cooker, oven, and hob, and we also won't have a kitchen sink. Red spent much of her "free time" at the weekend preparing some delicious Italian dishes that we can throw in the microwave, rather than resorting to takeaways every night.

Yes, a fun weekend was had by all. We're into equal-opportunity misery in this household. Even Cat gets a piece of the action. He has been put in a cattery for the week (we call it a spa retreat when he's nearby). This is because the last time we had workmen in (for the bathroom a couple of years ago), he got so freaked out that he legged it out through the back door and we never saw him for hours. When he finally returned he was very quiet. And at about 11pm we realized that he had cut open almost the entire length of the lower part of one of his back legs. Midnight trip to the vet. Severed the ligaments. Hit or miss whether he'd ever be able to use it again. But Doctor Jim was a fucking total genius and you'd never know now from pictures like this the extent of the original wound. We don't want to go through that shit again.

Right, it's 9am. I'd best get to work. I hope to get round to some of my blogpals and check out what y'all have been writing in recent days. Toodle-oo.

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Blogger Red said...

Ehi, did you know that the guy from the Torn video is the same guy from the Clio adverts? The guy who goes "Shhh... Shakespeare". Cute, but the Clio girl is cuter. France wins in that instance, I'm afraid.

14 May, 2007 10:19  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Feeling your pain in so many ways. Sigh.


14 May, 2007 12:04  
Blogger Milla said...

Ohhhhh poor you. I'll have another coffee break in your honour then

14 May, 2007 12:08  
Blogger cappy said...

dried up my arse!
you write more interesting things when you have nowt to say than i ever do when i think i have something relevant!
good work fella.

14 May, 2007 13:09  
Blogger cappy said...

p.s. the top 50 indie podcast (pt1) is now up!

14 May, 2007 13:10  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Red: I did not know that. I shall now commit it to memory. Merci beaucoup.

G/puss: That's all I ask. It's not much, is it?

Milla: Please do. We can't have coffee breaks right now. Soon I have to go and unearth the microwave...

Cappy: I kind of realized halfway through that it seemed like I had a lot to say. Oops. My bad! Thanks for the link.

14 May, 2007 13:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oooh, a new kitchen is so exciting in my world. At least your pain is only a week, my house has been repair since moving in back in Dec. I feel your pain.

14 May, 2007 13:25  
Blogger Lee said...

Oh the joy of remodelling. Just keep on focusing on how lovely it will all be when it's done.

And you didn't seem like a dried up old nun cunt at all!

14 May, 2007 15:07  
Blogger furiousBall said...

Some of the best renaissance painters were dried up nun cunts. Well, no but no.

That was a fine post, it's cool the way I can tell that you were protesting your own perceived block and then just stream of conscioused that out.

14 May, 2007 16:53  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

wow. sounds like a crazy-busy weekend. i hope you fit some fun in this week.

maybe you and red could dance around like your palooza heads :)

14 May, 2007 19:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a kitchen int so bad my da had our 3 story townhouse gutted n redone thay only did tha 1st 2 floors n then tha last floor after a 3 week break it was like campin out we hadda little frige upstairs n tha micro n coffee pot then wen thay finish that part , even moved over tha fireplace n all thay did tha upstairs hehehe thats were all tha showers were so we hadda go 2 tha gym 2 shower 3 blocks away 4 2 weeks it was pretty cool it was liek havin a baby...9 months long
it was sooo fun tho

14 May, 2007 20:13  
Blogger Suze said...

It sounds like you are in for an exciting few days at your house.

I hope cat is having a good time at the "Spa". Lol

14 May, 2007 21:44  
Blogger Karen said...

Sorry to hear you're working so hard these days but those vacations, home renos and tattoos aren't free are they? Oh what a wonderful world it would be if they were...!

And methinks Cat is going to be PISSED at you and the missus when he comes home after being misled into thinking he was headed to a Kitty Spa.

15 May, 2007 02:59  
Blogger Judith said...

I think your cat will take one look at your new kitchen and say to itself 'hang on this is the wrong house' and promptly fuck off out to the yard where he will be mulling over the same train of thought 'same back yard? but differnent house, what the fuck??'

15 May, 2007 10:06  
Blogger Milla said...

I'm having another coffee break in your honour just now, *A. I love it!

15 May, 2007 10:44  
Blogger Camie Vog said...

I can't wait to see it!! What color are you painting it?

15 May, 2007 12:54  
Blogger Adam Frazier said...

Man, just wait for the action on Heroes - I'm about to watch the season finale and it's absolutely INSANE right now. You're going to go ga-ga over Episode 20...

15 May, 2007 13:23  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Pool: I don't know how people live in houses that are in continuous flux, really! I know the end result is worth it, but the getting there is hard! We are excited, though.

Lee: Focusing, focusing, focusing. Yeah, it's all good now.

F/ball: It did all come out when I leats expected it. Ooh er, missus.

Martha: We may just about have time to do some PaloozaHead dancing. Maybe...

15 May, 2007 18:02  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Puppy: Nine months?! Jesus wept... I couldn't handle that, my friend. I'd be doing my fucking nut!

Suze: Exciting isn't the word for it. Really. Cat is better off out of it, believe me!

Karen: You're totally right that all the hard work pays for the shit we love, so it is all kind of worth it. Perhaps the early grave a little less so... Kitty will definitely be pissed.

15 May, 2007 18:05  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Judith: He will, y'know?! He's funny like that. He'll like it... eventually. Not before showing us his disdain, mind you.

Milla: Thank you!

Camie: Well, we aren't changing the paint. Just everything else. Cupboards, work surfaces, width of walk-through space (it's a galley kitchen), power points, location of cooker and sink... Will post pix once ALL is finished, including the tiling and flooring. Probably at least another couple weeks.

Adam: I'm looking forward to it!

15 May, 2007 18:24  
Blogger _z. said...

that's an interesting weekend you've had. It seems to me that despite everything you are a well organized guy. I would have drowned in chaos, if I had this many stuff running around at the same time. I would have pulled it through though, but in total chaos...

you're doing well mate, and despite all your work you still post an interesting and fun story.

good luck.

16 May, 2007 01:49  
Blogger Milla said...

I forgot to tell you: when we are back from italy we will have the window fitters redoing all our windows and doors. I already have pulpitations... I hate the disruption! I so, so feel for Cat.

16 May, 2007 13:15  
Blogger Pendullum said...

Wow,Iam exhausted just readingthis bloody post...
Ready fora nap...
or some pasta!

16 May, 2007 14:30  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

_z.: We have been surprisingly well organized, actually. So far...

Milla: Oh, your poor discolo!

Pendullum: Mmmm... pasta.

16 May, 2007 15:27  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

I've been busy working too and not lots of time to get on the blog or visit but things have evened out right now just stopping by to say hi. I hope you'll do some before and after shots of the kitchen. I do remember a little of what it looks like from when you had your pals from Italy to visit and you posted a pic of three of you in the kitchen no?

Even when you're dry I enjoy reading what you say, don't sweat it!

I hope you get your Survivor tapes soon, sent them on Monday!

17 May, 2007 04:43  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Candy: You're right, there are a few kitchen shots kicking around here and there, but oddly we didn't get chance to take any real end-of-era pix before the renovations started. Pix of the new kitchen will come soonish. 'Cited about the tapes, thanks. I bet it was über-rad.

17 May, 2007 13:27  
Blogger Spangly Princess said...

wow your weekend sounds hideous! I hope it's all worthwhile and that the new kitchen is worth all the disruption!

17 May, 2007 23:34  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Spangly: It's starting to feel worthwhile now, finally. Another long couple of days ahead of us, though. And the work just keeps on coming. The next 3-4 weeks will be hard, man!

18 May, 2007 06:16  
Blogger Melanie said...

Total Asshole Nit-picky Comment: The song "Torn" was written by a fabulous singer named Anne from a band called Ednaswap. After pretty vacant Natalie recorded it, Anne told me she regretted ever being talked into allowing Miss Natalie to sing her song.

Sorry for the asshole, nit-picky correction, but if I hadn't watch Anne fume over her art being trashed by an Australian soap star I wouldn't care.

18 May, 2007 21:52  
Blogger cappy said...

29 comments for nowt? well 30 now! i wish!

19 May, 2007 11:41  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Melanie: Y'know, I didn't even know it was a cover; I guess that's a sign of how much I cared. But I do actually think it's an all right song. Until it got too overexposed. But I might have guessed it was a cover: Aussie soap star + singing = cover (9 times out of 10).

Cappy: I know! Go figure, right. But it is a blog about nowt, so I guess people should know what to expect.

19 May, 2007 16:05  

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