Saturday, May 05, 2007

Callous, moi? Really?

I don't know if this makes me callous or not, but I don't understand why a certain question is not being asked these past couple of days:

What the fuck were those two parents thinking, leaving their three children (all under four years of age) completely unattended in a Portugal hotel room while they fucked off out to dinner?

Please, can some parent out there explain this to me?

As a child-free person, I can certainly see untold benefits of not taking your kids out with you. But if that's the way you feel as a parent, then you should either (a) make provisions for their safety in your absence or (b) not fucking have children in the first place.

All the news reports keep saying that these people felt they were acting responsibly by allegedly checking in on the kids every 30 minutes or so and apparently choosing a table from which they could see the door of their room. Do me a favour!

If I were king of the world, all their kids would be taken into care now, since they are clearly not responsible enough to look after them. I feel for them, honestly. But I feel for the kid even more, and I hope she is found safe and well. And I also feel for the other two kids. They've got real fucking idiots as parents.

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Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

Looking at Sky News I think that they are aware of the cricisism being levied at them. They have now said that the front door of the apartment was in their full view as they ate but its not something I'd have done myself. I've never left our children unsupervised on holiday, not even for 10 minutes.

05 May, 2007 14:09  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

This is abizarre situation. I think they were way too casual...but if it's true that they could see the bedroom apartment door from their table...I can sort of see their reasoning...but they are both doctors? See doctors DON"T know everything...

why didn't they worry about the apartment windows? Why didn't they wonder that someone watching them from the very nearby tables could have seen their situation...and acted by stealing one of their children?

I hope the girl is found safe. she is absolutely gorgeous in that photo.

I also can't imagine why...being both doctors, they couldn't have afforded to take a nanny or hire one?


05 May, 2007 15:18  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

AC: I would hope that they understand why there are certain criticisms, too. The thing is, although I don't have kids, I hate eaten out. And you can't tell me that it's possible to sit watching a certain spot on the horizon throughout the whole dinner. Especially while on holiday. You look around; you check out the food; you point and laugh at other diners. It simply isn't possible to "keep an eye on the door".

Candy: Ditto what I said above on the door situation. Also, they actively turned down childcare that was offered to them (from the hotel/complex, as I understand it). What the fuck is that all about?! Crazy, supposedly well-educated people...

05 May, 2007 16:11  
Blogger Biddie said...

This is the 1st that I have heard of this. I am absolutley appalled.
I have NEVER left my small children alone. EVER. My understanding is that at most resorts/hotels, they have some kind of babysitting service. Two DOCTORS on vacation can't spring for an extra $20 to have someone watch their kids?
Why didn't the cops press charges? This is unfuckingbelieveable.
I'm with you, the other kids should be taken.

05 May, 2007 16:35  
Blogger Suze said...

The BBC news correspondent out in Potugal at the present said that the Restaurant was just round the corner from the room where the kids were.

Now, if that is the case how could they see the door of their room!

I'm holding my breath that this little girl is found safe and well.

05 May, 2007 17:40  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Biddie: It just doesn't make sense to leave such young kids alone, even for half an hour. (And in fact there was an hour between her last sighting and the father realizing she was gone, so they weren't keeping that close an eye on the time.) But yes, to turn down cheap childcare for the evening is absurd. It's totally irresposible.

Suze: I hope they find her alive and well, too. Certainly I wouldn't wish any harm on her simply to get back at her dumb parents. But they do need some sort of punishment on their return to the UK. Doesn't surprise me that the info trickling through is starting to shift from the original dubious story...

05 May, 2007 17:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mabe thay did it

05 May, 2007 18:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't ask me. I have issues with people who have kids and then let nannies raise them. Why isn't someone asking if they intentionally went to dinner that night. Who leaves two year old twins alone EVER???

05 May, 2007 21:12  
Blogger Lee said...

I think you should rename your blog "The Callous Cunt".

Oh sorry, maybe that's me. ;)

That shit totally sucks. Everytime this happens I run the horrendous movie in my head of what that beautiful little child may be suffering at the hands of a pedophile. Make me wanna throw up.

05 May, 2007 23:36  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

DP: Ain't that always the way?

Poolio: I agree: why have kids if you're going to let someone else raise them? But once in a while using a sitter when you go out is fine, surely? At any reate, it's better than leaving 2- and 3-year-olds alone in a strange room in a foregin country, you'd think...

Lee: "The Callous Cunt"... It's got a nice ring to it, no? Yeah, I'm really hoping this doesn't turn into a paedo story, but you just never know.

06 May, 2007 08:33  
Blogger Tanya said...

Those kids were way too young to be left on their own like that.


06 May, 2007 10:18  
Blogger Sheamus the... said...

i can see how the parents might have thought it was a good idea...but nope...obviously it wasnt.

06 May, 2007 13:00  
Blogger Shauns Bicester info blog. said...

I see where you are coming from.Another thing to think about is:who out of the couple came up with idea of not hire-ing a child minder?.If for example it was the father-and the mother possibly put up an argument against leaving the (bless her little heart) child on her own,but was overruled-and agreed(albeit a little unsure)....and something awful happens to that poor little girl;she would never forgive him-and he would have to live with that terrible decision.This scenario could also happen the other way round of-course.
One of them must have convinced the other to leave that poor little babe in the woods.
I don't think you are being callous:people do think these things.

06 May, 2007 13:49  
Blogger furiousBall said...

I read this kind of crap and I just want to light myself on fire. Here I am a great dad that reads to his kids and plays outside with them every single day in the midst of a divorce where my children will be moved 800 miles away from me, yet these fucktards in Portugal have kids and are keeping them. Life can suck it. Hard.

06 May, 2007 14:34  
Blogger apositivepessimist said...

I didn't go to the link. Only because I'm so weary of reading/feeling about fucked up cunts who have children.

06 May, 2007 14:38  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Tanya: They were too young. It's absurd. And these are doctors?! Fucking idiots, more like.

Shea: Very bad idea, clearly. I reckon they know that now.

06 May, 2007 14:55  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Shaun: Good point. There's a fair chance that one of them favoured this idea more than the other. Oops.

Furiousball: Welcome. It's a fucked-up situation. Of course, they'll come back home and everyone will be "oh they've already suffered so much" and all that bollocks. Last night on TV the guy's sister was saying how ridiculous it is that people are criticizing their parenting. Um, really? Pricks.

APP: There's an ever-increasing number of idiots out there...

06 May, 2007 14:57  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Abso-fucking-lutely! Imagine if the kids were on a school trip and the teachers had done that - not only would they face criminal prosecution, but they would also be flayed in the press.

There was a news story last week that said a study had shown that schools were replacing parents in the role of bringing up children - I experienced that - it's one reason I left Education, but like you, I wonder why the fuck people have children in the first place if they're not prepared to accept full responsibility for parenting them.


06 May, 2007 17:09  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

Interesting subject...
I don't think it's the right time to critisise. I really don't. I really feel uneasy about pointing the finger of blame. They must be going through hell. The person to blame is the one who took the kid.
Things like this have happened in the past when the parents have been in as well.
(although I wouldnt have left them myself. But then I'm never having kids.)

06 May, 2007 18:53  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

I hadn't heard this story until I read your link. I am appalled that parents could be so irresponsible and selfish. All those children were too young to be left unsupervised. No excuses justify their behavior.

I also look dimly on people whose kids are raised by nannies, but that is not the same thing as hiring a baby sitter for an evening out.

What are they doctors of, stupidity?

06 May, 2007 19:59  
Blogger Cynnie said...

I heard about this story today..
The parents are fucking morons..
and they're doctors?
Not to knock all docs..but i once worked in a old age home and one doctor would bring his kids with him ( all 5!..aged 7 and under)
and just let them run free..
he never gave a second thought as to where his toddlers were a toddlin to
Some people think they're immune to disaster

I was a crap mother and I even knew to watch my kids.

07 May, 2007 00:25  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

i TOTALLY agree!!! what the hell were they thinking???

i pray she's found soon. and you're right... they should never have kids to begin with. i wish you were king of the world :)

07 May, 2007 00:27  
Blogger cappy said...

i have no sympathy.

when we go to france, the mother in law has a chalet (caravan) directly behind ours, through a row af small conifers. even then we watched the kiddies all the way through and into her van!
how any parent can leave a child unattended and expect nothing to happen, howecer serious, is beyond comprehension.
i would never dream of letting the boy out of my site in my local supermarket, where everyone knows me and him, let alone in a foriegn country.
the boy was six last year in francais, but he had a leash attatched to his hand in busy places. overkill? hell no. he's my pride and joy, and i for one want to see him grow into adulthood.
i hate to say it, but they won't see her again.

two words.


he'll be an adult now. and if you don't know who he is, look here

there is a case to be heard about these being fit parents maybe, but this will serve as punishment the rest of their days.

07 May, 2007 03:57  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

G/puss: You're totally right about the school-trip angle. There would be absolute mayhem about the neglect etc. Man oh man...

LUVM: The thing is, I haven't seen any criticism of them at all, and I think there should be someone asking why they chose to leave their kids alone. It is completely unacceptable behaviour, isn't it? Of course, ultimately, the bad guy is the kidnapper. But we are not talking about a burglar taking your TV while you're at work here; we're talking about three pre-school children being left alone in a strange room in a foreign country. It's unfathomable, and I really believe criticism is warranted.

07 May, 2007 13:57  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Hearts: Welcome. No excuses justify this. Absolutely right. I can't get my head around it. Of course, a sitter is acceptable; and it's better than the alternative! "Doctors of stupidity" is right. If MD is medical doctor, I guess they'd be an SD?

Cynnie: I hate to get all classist on this, but if this had been stupid, poor, uneducated, working-class folk, they'd be getting the book thrown at them. Because these people are apparently educated and probably well off, they'll get away with "just" losing their kidnapped child. Makes me fucking mad.

07 May, 2007 14:01  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Martha: Hey, I think a crown would look hot on me! And some of that Henry VIII-style eating and drinking. I'd rock as king, damn straight! Man, what were they thinking...?

Cappy: Yeah, I remember Ben's case. Crazy stuff... You just can't be too careful. i know some people see it as being OTT and overbearing, but you have to be sensible at the same time as allowing your kids some freedom. This wasn't freedom; this was the parents getting a night off from the kids without paying for it. Dumb fucks.

07 May, 2007 14:03  
Blogger Spangly Princess said...

the one thing I would say is this: given that someone broke open the window and climbed in through it, what difference would it have made if they had been a) in a restaurant downstairs in the hotel building? b) asleep in the room next door? or if at home, watching TV downstairs whilst their kids sleep upstairs?

Obviously to go out & leave your kids alone in the hotel is wrong and indefensible. But the idea that they'd automatically have been safe because their parents were in the same building is wrong, sorry. Do you sit up all night watching your children sleep? if not, you are leaving them unattended at some level. A monster can break in through a bedroom window at any time.

07 May, 2007 14:23  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Spangly: To some extent of course you are right. But this was a holiday apartment, likely just a couple of rooms on one level, rather than a house, which has maybe five or six rooms over two levels or more. So the chance of someone breaking into an occupied apartment of that sort is considerably lower, I would guess, than of them breaking into an unoccupied one.

Furthermore, my guess would be that the only people who kidnap children are people who want to kidnap a child. So it is also a reasonable assumption to say that the kidnapper had seen the family around and realized that if the children were not with the parents, whom they had seen dining, then they must be in the room and therefore sitting ducks, since even if the kidnapper were confronted by a childminder, said childminder would probably put up less of a fight than would a parent.

07 May, 2007 14:57  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

There has been criticism, I've heard quite a bit personally and it has been implied in a lot of the press I've read.
The whole thing is just awful, if I start thinking about it too much I'll just go crazy. I just wish there was some news.
It sounds like the police have been pretty useless too.
It's just horrific, I can't think logically about it in any way.

07 May, 2007 17:51  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

LUVM: I've not read any newspapers (we don't buy one), so i can only go by what I've seen on TV news or online. And among those I haven't seen any criticism, real or implied. That's not to say I don't believe there's been any. The bloke's sister certainly voiced dismay at the criticisms, so she too must have heard of it.

I'm not saying I wish the kid harm just to spite her dumb parents, of course. But I feel this could have been avoided through sensible parenting. That, in my eyes, makes their case one of neglect on their part. I know I'm purely being logical and taking no account of the human tragedy, but I do think questions need to be asked and answered.

I agree, too, that the police don't seem to have been particularly great and even seem to have been raising hopes without good cause.

07 May, 2007 17:59  
Anonymous manini said...

I don't understand how they can still have custody of the other two children.

Is it a cultural thing? Because in the U.S. I don't believe they would.

07 May, 2007 23:55  
Blogger cappy said...

it's an old saying, freedom comes at a price.
what price one of your own flesh and blood?
is a quiet meal really worth it?


08 May, 2007 01:42  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Manini: I guess right now they're still in a foreign country so nothing will happen on that front. It will be interesting to see what happens when they return.

Cappy: It's certainly a high price to pay...

08 May, 2007 07:25  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

Manini: If they take their other two children off them now they might as well shoot them both in the head.
I can't believe how unfeeling people are. Their child has been snatched. They didn't ask for it. It would have been snatched if they'd been in the other room and not just across the street.
This is properly torturing me and it's nothing to do with me. Just put yourselves in their shoes for two seconds. It's the most horrific thing that could happen to a person. Give them a break.

08 May, 2007 12:50  
Blogger Camie Vog said...

I know that I am joining this post, having kids, and needing to take care of them takes time from my blogging...

Leaving kids under four to take care of themselves??? Hmm, I see it happen weekly. The neighbors next to us have three kids, 5, 3, and 1. They leave them alone for up to an hour or so a couple of times a week. They also never let them play outside. When my other neighhbor called them out on this, the father said "We are African"!!! Huh?!? The guy carries a British passport and talks like FiftyCent. Must be cultural... Or just disgusting.

08 May, 2007 14:16  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

LUVM: Bless you, pet, you've got so involved with this! To be fair, I'm not convinced that it necessarily would still have happened had they been in the apartment, as per my previous comment to Spangly Princess (above). That's why i believe they are guilty of neglect, regardless of the suffering they are undoubtedly going through. What's interesting here, though, is how many parents -- arguably the people who can most relate to the pressures of parenthood -- agree these "doctors" have been neglectful.

Camie: So being African excuses all bad parenting?! What a bizarre and interesting notion. I'm sure it happens a lot, everywhere. And then stuff like this happens and your only defence is "I didn't think it would happen to me." Not good, is it?

08 May, 2007 17:22  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

I do get over-emotional about the news! It's not good for me.

08 May, 2007 19:00  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

LUVM: Ha! Best not watch the news then. I rarely have in recent months, mostly getting it online. But we've just run out of Scrubs DVDs, so we're having some news viewing instead!

09 May, 2007 09:08  
Blogger lightupvirginmary said...

May I recommend the Curb Your Enthusiasm boxset.

09 May, 2007 13:43  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

I have bought or been gifted each season as it was released, so they are there on standby. We've decided to revisit Seinfeld in sequence next. I had every episode on tape from the TV, and then we started buying the DVDs when they finally got released. I think we've got six seasons so far.

09 May, 2007 13:50  

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