Monday, April 02, 2007

The modern man

Urban Dictionary has several definitions for the term metrosexual, just as it does for most words. If I were to define myself with one of these, it would probably be number 3: "Men with taste & style who know about fashion, art, and culture".

It is with this understanding in mind that I might ask my wife before I go out, "Does this shirt look okay, not too creased?" or "Do these shoes go okay with this pullover?" And occasionally I might even be seen carrying a man bag. So what, right?

In this day and age, I think more and more men are conscious of their appearance, and rightly so.

So if we are to assume that men care what people think, why does the following conversation never seem to take place?

Him: "Dear wife, do I look okay to go out in public with this tiny mobile phone affixed to my ear?"

Her: "No, sweet husband of mine. You look like a total cunt."



Blogger apositivepessimist said...

arhaaha and he does too don't he.

sometimes one should just say no to modern technology.

well shit I 1st off the cabrank here or what!

02 April, 2007 13:06  
Blogger Will said...

hahahaha. Bluetooth wanker.

02 April, 2007 13:09  
Blogger Pickled Olives said...

that convo doesn't happen because cunty women wear them too. This automatically lets men think its okay.

02 April, 2007 13:10  
Blogger martinobhoy said...

In Leith the majority of people you see talking to themselves are actually not wearing one of these phones.

They really are just fecking bonkers (or drunk)!

02 April, 2007 13:21  
Blogger Tanya said...

oh dear. That's as bad as wandering around with the cellphone clipped to the belt.

02 April, 2007 13:49  
Blogger Sheamus the... said...

i agree...i hate those things.

02 April, 2007 14:35  
Blogger mist1 said...

Sometimes, I want one of those, just to be able to pretend that I am in a conversation with someone else. I am running out of excuses to ignore people.

02 April, 2007 16:31  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

APP: Doesn't he?! Yup, first you be.

Will: Nicely put!

Olives: Yes, I found some cunty women pics on Google, but I've never seen them in real life, so I stuck to what I know!

02 April, 2007 19:17  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Martino: I can dig that! I still have to do a double take when I see people talking on any sort of hands-free phone.

Tanya: It's worse. It says, "I'm so fucking important that I must answer any call within about 1 second, and that means it really ought to be permanently attached to my stupid ugly cunting face."

02 April, 2007 19:19  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Shea: Who doesn't, old friend? I mean, c'mon...

Mist: I can see where you're coming from. The downside, of couse, is that you'll look like a cunt. And that's simply not ideal, no matter how much you want to deter people from talking to you.

02 April, 2007 19:20  
Blogger ldbug said...

Those phones freak me out. I'm forever wondering if the person next to me is talking on a phone I can't see or just talking to the wall....

02 April, 2007 22:28  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

HAHHAHHA... i totally agree!

it looks like a these guys are hoping someone might mistake them for a member of the original star trek cast. "beam me up, scotty... and get these ridiculous things outta here"

02 April, 2007 23:33  
Blogger Lee said...

A Borg cunt at that.

02 April, 2007 23:43  
Blogger Soupdragon said...

Naw, he looks like a Cyberman wannbe.


How do you put the 'previous posts' on your page? Can't get me new bollocks layout thing to do it. Tried copying and pasting the old html from the old template, but it dunt seem to work wi the new layout thing.


Happy Ching Ming Festival fer Thursday 5th, by the way.



03 April, 2007 03:34  
Blogger Stagg said...

I always land up talking to the person with one of these, and they look at me like I'm the crazy one "I'm not talking to you"

03 April, 2007 04:04  
Blogger Audible said...

I ^fucking^ HATE people with bluetooth headsets... especially when they think it's acceptable to wear them into theaters...

03 April, 2007 05:33  
Blogger Quick said...

Hello. I've read *(asterisk)'s comments elsewhere but this is the first time I've visited your blog, and in the first half a second or so of seeing that image, without having yet read the text, my first thought was "Oh dear - he's showing us his new toy. He's one of those people. He's a total cunt."

Glad I read on.

People who wear those things make me want to punch them in the ear. Fuckers.

03 April, 2007 07:33  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

LDB: They're. Just. Plain. Wrong.

Martha: I saw a man in the post office with one yesterday. Why?

Lee: Yup! Borg-ian motherfucker.

03 April, 2007 09:28  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

SD: Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Previous posts is part of my template, so I don't know, soz.

Stagg (or Candy?): Luckily I don't talk to strangers, so I wouldn't get drawn into that!

Audible: They shouldn't wear them anywhere in public. It's all very well if they work in a call centre, but in the real world? No fucking way.

Quick: Glad I managed not to be the cunt you were expecting. And welcome.

03 April, 2007 09:32  
Blogger _z. said...

aaah... thanks man...
I hate those "freehand" talkers... they drive me nuts on the bus.

03 April, 2007 13:28  
Blogger Odat said...

Oh...I'm so glad you said this...I happen to hate them too..e'time I see someone with one on...I just give them a look as if to say: Duh, do you know you look like a fucking jerk! :-)

03 April, 2007 14:20  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

_z.: Y'see, absolutely nobody likes them. It's like 100% hatred for them, right here on this blog. A survey of people of the world.

Odat: Isn't it great how they can be so hated? What is with them, though?

03 April, 2007 14:27  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

get a lot of truck drivers at work with those things stuck in their ears. They look very stupid.

A man bag? Oh dear

03 April, 2007 18:20  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

4D: I can vaguely, sort of, almost make exceptions for people who spend all day driving a van, like with call-centre people. But guys down Homebase on a Sunday afternoon... There's really no excuse for that, is there?

03 April, 2007 18:35  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

I think you almost might like the word 'cunt' more than I do...


05 April, 2007 20:59  
Blogger cappy said...

you forgot the part where they stand in a supermarket talking on that whilst also talking to you and getting to the point where i (oops, i mean you) don't know who the fuck they are talking to and just want to rip the damn thing out and shove it up their pretentious arses!

and breathe!

13 April, 2007 13:00  

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