Have you got a smaller one?

So, it turns out that Red doesn't like my new David Lynch Signature Cup Organic Espresso coffee, which came all the way from California in a super-smashing-great stylish black tin that sounds like it vacuum seals when you close it.

This should come as no surprise to those of you who already know how much that wife of mine dislikes David Lynch and all that he does.

More often than not, though, we only need a small cup of espresso each, so we use our three-cup moka stove-top Italian espresso coffee-making thing. We also call it a cuccuma.

And should the occasion arise that I need a cup of espresso when she doesn't, then I opt for the dinky one-cup version that I have.

But if she won't drink Lynch stuff, then we both need a one-cup machine. So off we went to buy one.

We tried three or four stores, including places like John Lewis and House of Fraser. No joy. Then we walked past Whittards, the tea and coffee folk. Surely, if anywhere....

"Excuse me," I say, holding aloft the three-cup model from the shelf, "have you got this in a smaller size?"

"No," replies the clerk, "that's the smallest one."

"Well," I counter, "it's not the smallest one in the world, is it? I mean, you can get smaller ones. You just don't stock them, yes? You can get them for one cup, you see."

She seemed bemused.

We exited the store, empty handed and empty hearted.

Guess we'll have to wait till our next trip to Italy. Ooh, sudden brainwave. Maybe I can get one in Soho next Tuesday...