Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Post #497, wherein I disclose that I no longer have any friends “of colour”

You know, whenever there is an implication that someone is racist, they bring up that old cliché: "Of course I'm not racist... One of my best friends is black." That always makes me laugh. It seems like such a racist thing to say, somehow; apart from the fact that it also almost always sounds like a desperate lie. You just want to ask them, "Oh really? What are their names?"

Well, I'm here to own up and tell you now that I don't have any black or Asian friends. Not any more. Why is this?

I used to have some, but friends come and go. I used to have some white friends that I'm no longer in touch with, too. And gay friends. Now my real-life friends are all white heteros. And I kind of miss the mix, I gotta say.

Thankfully, though, I can still eat "black" food, albeit somewhat "Caucasianized", thanks to Linford Christie and his chicken with rice 'n' peas recipe, which I have adapted even further to make it easier. Why not check it out by clicking the picture?

So what happened to all my ethnic-minority friends? What happened to my non-hetero friends? Easy. I moved away from London. I did see three black people yesterday, though. And once I saw an effeminate boy. It's not the same, though. Thank heavens for blogland.


Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

hahaha... i hear ya, friend!

it's funny you posted on this today because a good friend of mine (who's also a blogger) posted on race today, too (and yesterday, as a matter of fact).

i agree that it seems like a lie to respond with something like "i have a good friend who's black (or Asian or hispanic or whatever)" but, i will say... when accused of being racist, it's so difficult to know what to say. i tend to agree that people are going to believe what they want to believe, and if they want to believe i'm racist, no amount of defending myself is going to sway them.

i just have to live like i'm not racist... i don't think i'm racist... and i hope that shows in how i live and treat everyone. i may describe someone as black or Asian or hispanic... but i'm usually only doing it as a descriptive word... just like i might describe the friend i mentioned above by saying "pale" (hahahah)

anyway, it saddens me that race is so touchy... hopefully the situation will one day improve.

(and YAY... because i think i'm actually the first person to comment today... yay!)

06 December, 2006 18:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't ahve any friends at all...

What does that make me? ;)


06 December, 2006 18:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look at that sauce YUM!!!

I am quickly popping by to say hi because blogger was down and I am way behind on reading your posts. Five hundred posts wow!

I am going to eat some soul food tonight, I can't wait! I'm starving even right now thinking about it...

06 December, 2006 19:29  
Anonymous Pie said...

I'm a male fag hag, most of my friends are gay men - only three of them have ever tried to molest me though so that's good I guess.

I also count a small dog and a glove puppet amongst my closest friends so I probably need to get out a bit more. Neither of them have tried anything on with me.

06 December, 2006 19:36  
Blogger Kate said...

Oddly, I know more black and gay people now I live in a village than I did when I lived in a town. Not sure why that is.

ps: I'm rather taken with the sauce too.

06 December, 2006 20:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm confused about the food, do you mean Southern (US) food? Looks like some beans and rice there...

I have to admit to hating southern food but everyone down there loves it, and fried okra ick!

My relatives range from Catholic, Jewish, white, black, straight, lesbian, hispanic, etc... I think I'm really lucky to have such a diverse extended family. Particularly since friends can come and go, but family, well, you're kinda stuck with em;-)

06 December, 2006 20:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


07 December, 2006 00:06  
Blogger wrinkled weasel said...

I have had a few gay friends who despite my open friendship have gone off to their gay little cliques. My guess is that they are far more narrow minded that I am and, dare I say, heterophobic?

07 December, 2006 01:34  
Blogger Tanya said...

Agreed - London is more cosmopolitan.

Unheard of in my family to have "friends of colour". My cousin once told me that if she found out that anyone in our family had an interest in a black person, she would disown them. So I told her that I slept with a black man (which I had - I didn't make that up.) The look on her face was worth it. He he he. Love having a go at my racist, narrow minded Afrikaans family. It's too much fun! Funny thing is, they found it easier to accept I was gay than that I had slept with "someone of colour"!!!! Who was a MAN!!! OMG.... Love it.

07 December, 2006 09:11  
Blogger Suze said...

I don't have many friends now I am out of work. They seemed to have peeled away over the months.

I must get out and find myself a job and some new ones. Lol

I'm also going to check out that recipe.

07 December, 2006 11:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Growing up in Blackburn and living in quite a poor area I had mates from differing cultural backgrounds. Siekhs, muslim, Irish and Italian.

Now, a 30-something dad I have no mates outside of work.

What a sad travesty that is.

11 December, 2006 09:12  

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