Tuesday, September 19, 2006

School was a laugh, eh?

I was 11 and sat in class. It was one of the days when we didn't have assembly, which was only a couple of days a week. So we would sit there and read quietly for 20 minutes, probably while the form tutor recovered from his/her hangover.

Some days I would read Punk! Lives magazine. Does anyone remember that mag? It was one of those mags, despite being short-lived, that was ideal school reading material because it instantly put you in with a certain group, where otherwise you might not get to know anyone for a few weeks in a new school. Those mags got shared around a lot, and I made some good mates who I remained friends with all through the next five years of school and beyond.

But as it happens on this occasion I was reading something altogether more twee: a Just William novel. Don't even ask me how I could flip from one to the other, but I did. What a contradictory boy I was, just as I like to remain today.

As I read the book, I found some bits funny. I laughed to myself. But you know how it is when you don't want to laugh. You just can't help but laugh even more. I probably laughed twice, perhaps three times, over the course of five minutes. Not big belly laughs, just little chuckles.

The teacher asks me, "Is there something wrong with you?"
I say, "No."
"Then why are you laughing?"
"Because the book is funny."
"Well, perhaps you can keep your laughter to yourself. Or choose to read something less amusing."

I forget her name now. She might have been Scottish. Either way, I think she was a bit of a cunt.


Blogger Tanya said...

Most school teachers are miserable cunts. And bullies.

19 September, 2006 12:49  
Blogger Spangly Princess said...

hahaha that's great. what an unreasoable bitch.

19 September, 2006 12:53  
Blogger ems said...

Ouch! I feel the need to defend myself here. We have quiet, rather than silent, reading on a Wednesday afternoon. It does allow for a little light laughter. Occasionally led by me.

19 September, 2006 13:43  
Blogger Amanda said...

I don't send my kids school..they laugh a lot.

19 September, 2006 13:56  
Blogger apositivepessimist said...

well that’s a fine way to encourage kids to read and enjoy doing it eh. I agree total cunt.

19 September, 2006 13:57  
Blogger Shep said...

Heh, and there was me going to say that scotch people were miserable cunts!

19 September, 2006 14:21  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

Oh my god...what a crime!!!!

The whole fantastic point of reading is that it so activates the imagination...this just pisses me off even though it's in the past. It's just aggravatigng to even consider it ever happened. Ugh.

19 September, 2006 14:35  
Blogger Martha Elaine Belden said...

i can't say how many times i got in trouble for reading what i wasn't supposed to be reading in class and finding myself either laughing or crying at inappropriate times...

what a horrible thing to say to a kid though. especially when you were allowed to be reading... it makes sense if you were breaking the rules (like i often did), but that's awful... way to encourage reading, teach

19 September, 2006 17:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eh..i was gonna say something positive..
But I hated school

19 September, 2006 19:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goddess forbid that a book so thoroughly transports a child that he/she laughs out loud. Whatta jerkface.

20 September, 2006 05:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yup. a cunt. i am amazed that you got critisized for reading! by a teacher!

20 September, 2006 08:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, and as for the sharing of mags, and meeting/joining groups, how odd that you mention that. check my post!

20 September, 2006 08:35  
Anonymous Pie said...

You Shall Not Enjoy Reading Boy! Some teachers are quite silly like that, fortunately they are balanced off by some very good teachers.

I used to write my own comics and magazines which I distributed around the school. I was greatly honoured one year when they were banned.

20 September, 2006 09:00  
Blogger Suze said...

What a miserable cow! Would she rather you behave like some of the lads in my clase, constantly winding up the teacher and causing trouble.

Some people!

20 September, 2006 09:48  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Tanya: Wow, that's pretty damning! Don't mince your words, girl. To be fair, I had other teachers who I really liked, and some even used to come into the pub I worked in years later and shoot the shit.

Spangly: Reason doesn't even enter into it, does it?

Ems: I don't hate on all teachers, as per my comment to Tanya above, but I do think some of them lose sight of the fact that they are dealing with children, not adults. Do you see much of that yourself?

Amanda: Sounds like a good decision!

APP: Yeah, it really brings the joy of books right home to ya, huh?

20 September, 2006 11:14  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Shep: That would be racism. Teacherism is fine, though.

Candy: It's funny how I do think about this now and again, especially if I'm reading something funny in a public place. I daren't laugh out loud, cos I'm terrified someone will ask me if I'm insane.

Martha: Great, isn't it. Who says school are the best years of your life?!

Cynnie: Can't say any fairer than that.

20 September, 2006 11:25  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Lee: Jerkface, indeed. She was always miserable. Probably a really nice woman in real life. Maybe. But really not cut out for dealing with 11-yr-old kids, obviously.

Cappy: Reading good, laughing bad.

Pie: Yeah, she was in a minority, thankfully. Cool to get your own writings banned, though. You must have been a subversive motherfucker.

Suze: No, she wouldn't have like that either. I think she just didn't want to be there, full stop. "Miserable cow" is right.

20 September, 2006 11:28  
Blogger a.c.t said...

That sounds very familiar. I was always in trouble and on report at school. On parents evenings I used to hide when my parents came home. I was always put in bottom class for my bad behaviour and was therefore seen as a 'thicko' by the teachers. I'd love to see them now and watch their miserable faces as I tell them what I'm doing now. It's only natural for kids to want to mess about in class, it doesn't mean their not intelligent. If anything, it's the opposite - it shows personality.

20 September, 2006 11:54  
Blogger ems said...

* you'll be pleased to know I realise the kids are kids. We have plenty of fun.

a.c.t. we don't have sets in our school - all mixed ability. Hard to teach but it does mean that kids aren't branded failures and dumped into sink sets.

20 September, 2006 20:06  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

ACT: You must have beed a bad girl! I, invece, was top of some of my classes. ;-P

ems: I am pleased to hear that. Fun is good!

21 September, 2006 09:41  

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