Wednesday, April 05, 2006

“The Hardest Part”

There are a few bands that really ought not to exist, and chief among them is probably Coldplay.

Their new video is astonishing. Shot to look like a cheap, videotaped, US TV show (a bit like that horrifying Westlife/Mariah Carey video for their cover of a Phil Collins song a few years ago), this new Coldplay clip has the band playing their latest slice of drivel on a stage adjacent to a spooky-looking act that can only be described as “a bloke who throws his rickety old gran around the stage”.

Now as if that weren’t bad enough, Chris Martin sings the word “mouth” at some point in the song, which apparently he shouldn’t. Wife exclaimed at this point: “Ugh, don’t say ‘mouth’!”

“Why?” I asked.

“It’s just wrong coming from him.”

Then the aforementioned frontman proceeds to dance on the spot clapping the heels of his hands together like a mong.

Anyway, Chris Martin of Coldplay, you want to know what I think is the hardest part? Listening to anything you have ever written, recorded, and/or released.

(Although, I must go on record and say that I think you’re quite funny when you’re being interviewed. It’s just your songs that are fucking shite.)


Blogger the cappuccino kid said...

as i have said on many a site before...the guy is a grade a first class CUNT! i hate him with every sinew in my fucking body, and wish he would just shut the fuck up and join a commune. fucking hippy.
yeallouw? what the fuck is that all about?

but what pisses me off the most?

try the hippocritical fucker moaning about fair trade, being a prominent supporter of live 8 and all it was for, then going on stage in a pair of 50p annual wage, fucking sweat shop produced ADIDAS TRAINERS. CUNT, CUNT, CUNT,CUNT, etc.

09 May, 2006 09:24  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

So... you're not keen on Coldplay and Chris Martin, then? Is that what you're saying?

10 May, 2006 09:44  

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